How to Turn Shifts into Clients

Some coaches say clients pay you for results. Others say they pay you for the powerful insights you generate. And still others say it’s the possibility you get them present to.

But no matter how you talk about it, what your clients are paying you for directly or indirectly is what happens in the insight creation, or Shift, part of your coaching conversations. The reason is simple: the Shift is where things change. It’s where clients see their lives differently. It’s where they get present to possibility. It’s where they realize what they’ve been missing and create what wasn’t possible before.

If you understand this, you can use the power of the Shift phase to sign clients. If you don’t understand this, you’ll squander the Shift, it will create powerful conversations, but no clients.

This is how it normally goes (hint… not well). Read more

The Drop Deeper Into Coaching Challenge – Part 2

[While this post works on its own, you might enjoy reading Part 1, which you can find here.]

I also want to invite you to practice both Calmness and Activity in the Shift phase, with us in our upcoming OPEN MAT SPARRING session, happening on Wednesday, January 23, at 2pm EST. You can reserve your spot here.

Calmness in the Midst of Activity in the Shift Phase

There’s this concept I heard when I first started coaching: the “lamp post metaphor.” The idea is that even if a person talked to a lamp post every night they would get some benefit. And while this is a helpful metaphor when we’re caught in the midst of doubting ourselves as coaches, I don’t think that aspiring to the effectiveness of a lamp post is why any of us got into coaching.

In the first part of this challenge I talked about the practice of being active in the midst of calmness, about how to be focused on the practice of being present while you create silence, space, and possibility. In some ways this is the practice of being a powerful lamp post.

But of course this is only part of the equation. To be a masterful coach, a true Samurai Coach, you must not only be a powerful lamp post, you must learn to act, speak, ask, and reflect with depth and power. And while this is true for ALL the parts of a coaching conversation it’s especially true for the part of the conversation after you choose an area to coach around or in, the part we call the SHIFT phase.

Which is why in this post I want to ask you to deepen into your coaching by practicing Calmness in the midst of Activity.Read more

What do I do when a coaching session isn’t going anywhere?

It’s minute twenty of a sixty-minute session and all of a sudden I realize that we’re not really talking about anything. There’s this long silence happening, but not one of those good, deep thoughtful silences. It’s like a silence in the midst of a bad first date. I look up at the time again, twenty-one minutes of a sixty-minute session. How the HELL IS TIME MOVING SO SLOWLY?

Thoughts run through my head as I try to look like I’m being present:

Man, I suck at coaching…

What should I ask next…?   

This dude’s never going to hire me…  Read more

Don’t Kill The Baby Chick Of Possibility And Save Your Life Coach Career

The other day in our Facebook group I did a Live where I did a bit of coaching about the Drop with the coaches that showed up and asked questions. And in that process I created a little analogy that I think can help you have better coaching session as soon as you get it.

As you leave the Open and enter the Drop, imagine your client hands you a baby phoenix. This fluffy little phoenix chick represents their possibility. Your #1 job as a coach is to keep the chick alive. Easy enough, right?

Well, the thing I haven’t told you is that as soon as you enter the Drop, your client will try to get you to do things that will kill the chick. Mostly they won’t realize what they’re doing, they’ll simply being doing what they always do, since how we show up to coaching is how we show up to everything.

They might say, “HEY, let’s play overwhelm football! CATCH!!” #dead-phoenix

Read more

Dangerous Coaches Wanted

Coaching that is 10x better doesn’t happen because you’re paying ten times the attention, or because you’re charging ten times as much, or because you’ve coached ten times the number of clients.

A mediocre coach can’t become masterful simply by taking one quality of mastery and doing it ten times as often. But we often think like this:

    • A coach will notice how much silence there is in a Rich Litvin YouTube video and vow to be silent for half a session.
    • A coach will be enthralled by Tony Robbins’s hardcore pushing of his audience members and begin to yell at their clients for NOT DOING THEIR WORK.
    • A coach will be amazed by the simplicity of the Ten Step Executive Development system in a book and begin running all of their clients through it, like pushing meat through a transformation grinder.

Read more

What are the best questions to OPEN YOUR CLIENT UP and find out what they want?

(AKA the Dopest Drop Questions EVERRRRRRR…)


Coaches love questions. We collect them. Admire them. DROOOOOOL OVER THEM.Read more

Coaching on the Drop

Toku riffs on and answers questions about the Drop phase of the coaching conversation, Read more

You only need to care about the DROP if you want to be a great coach

Most coaches don’t need to worry about the Drop. Not because the Drop doesn’t happen in a coaching conversation. But because the Drop is built in to their model of coaching.Read more

The #1 Coaching Blindspot

What amazes me about coaching mastery isn’t the complexity of the blindspots coaches have, but the simplicity of them.
Read more

How Should I Start a Coaching Conversation?

Every coaching conversation that ever was had to start somewhere. Whether it was a life-altering session that changed the course of human history or the worst conversation any coach has ever had, all conversations have to start.

So how in the hell are you supposed to figure how to start it?

When I was a new coach, I loved being in the mix of a powerful conversation. I could feel my clients getting insights and new understandings, I could feel the next question on my lips, but at times starting a coaching session felt a little like starting a make-out session. Polite but awkward conversation, tentative advances and subtle cues, and a fair degree of uncertainty and self-consciousness. Read more