ODSC Framework #5: The Open – Bad Coach Distortion

This is our fifth post in the series about the four key parts of an incredible coaching conversation. (See previous: Introduction, The Open – Context, The Open – Agreements, The Open – Building Rapport)

This section of The Open is about bad coach distortion.

Sometimes the lack of self-trust as a coach can be detrimental to the transition from proposal to client. There are ways to prep yourself and slow yourself down, to get into your body and avoid jeopardizing the session with your client. Toku identifies this struggle as the “bad coach distortion” in the Open phase and explains how you can get out of it by staying present.


ODSC Framework #4: The Open – Building Rapport

This is the fourth post in the series about the four key parts of an incredible coaching conversation. (See previous: Introduction, The Open – Context, The Open – Agreements)

We’re still deep in the phase called “The Open;” this post centers on building rapport.

We often think that building rapport only occurs in the beginning of a relationship with a client. It’s important to know that building rapport is actually something that is ongoing. It’s necessary not only to create, but also to maintain, the foundation of trust with your client. Toku discusses the best way to do this in the Open phase.


ODSC Framework #3: The Open – Agreements

This is the third post in the series about the four key parts of an incredible coaching conversation. (See previous: Introduction, The Open – Context)

We’re still discussing the Open, but now we’re shifting the focus to agreements.

Agreements Part 1: the Key 4 Agreements

Do you feel that your ongoing sessions aren’t powerful enough? How strong is the trust between you and your client? Establishing your key agreements helps create a powerful container where anything is possible. In Part 1, Toku dives into the key 4 agreements that allow him to serve his clients best.
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ODSC Framework #2 – The Open – Context

This is the second post in the series about the four key parts of an incredible coaching conversation, what we’re calling the ODSC Framework (Open-Drop-Shift-Close).

(Check out Part 1 – Introduction here.)

Do you doubt whether the work you deliver matters? Do you find your conversations aren’t as powerful as they used to be? In your opening, focusing on fine-tuning the context around your conversation will be the key solution to some of these doubts you have in your coaching ability. Toku explores a few ways to do this.

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Triggering Your Client / The Pain of Going Back

Part 1: Triggering Your Client

For much of my early coaching journey, I did my best to avoid triggering clients and prospects. Sure, I challenged them, but I was very careful to avoid the red line between what was hard and what caused them to get reactive. Even before I was a coach, I put a lot of work into developing the relational energy and communication skills needed to avoid triggering others, identify when I am being triggered, and getting out of a triggered state as quickly as possible.

But during a recent coaching session something different happened. I triggered this amazing woman I was talking to, but instead of getting scared and employing my anti-trigger defense system, I got curious. I slowed down. I mean way, way, way down. I stayed with her. I tried very hard to not think of this trigger as a bad thing, but as the exact thing she needed to experience. I focused on trusting her fully.Read more

Where Do You Find Clients? (Video)

Honorable Enrollment Video #3

Toku shares: “Coaches tell me all the time: I don’t know where to find clients. Here’s how I’ve learned to create a mindset that reveals opportunities for service everywhere you go.”

Creating a Powerful Context (Video)

Honorable Enrollment Video #1

This is the first of a series of videos all about uncovering the incredible opportunities to serve your prospects during the enrollment process.

Toku shares a video about why it’s essential to define what motivates you in order to create a strong foundation for serving and enrolling clients.

How To Fill Your Calendar With Prospects

Here are the keys to how I’ve filled my calendar consistently with potential clients over the past couple of years.

PHASE 1 :: Build Foundational Skills

1. Practice Connecting –
Start by learning how to connect, how to ask great questions, be curious, be interested instead of interesting and make people feel comfortable. Focus solely on this for a week or two, focus on just connecting with everyone you meet paying close attention to what works and what doesn’t.

2. Practice Invitations –
Always be practicing invitations because it’s a skill. As you connect with people, always be ready to ask them, “What’s your biggest challenge right now?” . . . then listen deeply and ask a few questions to open up space for an invitation. Do this with everyone, Uber drivers, friends on Facebook, everyone. Learning to help people feel felt and heard makes inviting easier so focus totally on practicing invitations. Not just to coaching, but to everything. The movies, a seat on the subway, whatever – immerse yourself in it. Read more

The Tale of the 7 Sales

One of our coaches and mentors, Rich Litvin, often talks about the 4 sales in coaching.
#1 – The 1st sale is to yourself as a coach. You have to be enrolled in your own value and ability to serve others powerfully.
#2 – The 2nd sale is to the conversation. You have to connect with someone first and then enroll them into giving up their most precious resource (time) with the promise that you will help them in some way.
#3 – The 3rd sale is selling your service. And this is the sale most of us focus on. Yet this sale is predicated on the power of the previous ones.
#4 – The 4th sale is to your potential clients family, friends, advisors, etc. – anyone else they speak to before or soon after they pay you, because if your client can’t explain exactly how you’re going to help them do awesome shit, they’ll likely undermine the sale.

I love this model because it really asks you to look at how the enrollment process is a series of creations instead of building up a ton of pressure on the one big SALE. But I don’t think this model goes far enough. I think there are a few more sales that occur. Read more

The Art of 5 Minute Coaching

I realized recently during a conversation in one of the Coaching Dojo’s I’ve been running that the reason I’m so good at doing 5 minute or “speed” coaching is that I’ve learned the art of creating a single moment really well. You see, much of coaching is about creating a whole arc of experiences, but speed coaching is all about creating one really powerful experience.

After I realized this, I realized that this skill has a lot of application to the rest of the art of coaching as well. In many ways, our job as coaches can be broken into three phases:

  1. Creating safety
  2. Stepping into possibility
  3. Moving from possibility

What I’ve noticed is that most coaches step over the first two of these steps and try to get clients right into the third stage. Which is a problem because it’s hard to help someone have a deep experience of possibility unless you create safety and you know how create a clear and powerful moment of possibility.Read more