You Don’t Have To Be An Expert To Be A Great Coach

How can I help someone build a multi-million dollar business if I’ve never done it?
How can I help someone with their law firm if I’m not a lawyer?
How can I help someone have a dope relationship if I’m still single?

I hear this kind of thing a lot from coaches. I get it. I mean I wouldn’t want to learn how to cook from someone who couldn’t make toast. I wouldn’t want to learn guitar from someone who can’t play basic chords.

But coaching isn’t like cooking or guitar.

To be a good cook you need to do cooking. Because you have to learn the nuances of making food in order to teach it to someone else.

With coaching you’re not teaching someone a skill. You’re using a totally different set of skills to help them improve their skills.

Skills like:
– Observation
– Curiosity
– Contextualization
– Empathy
– Analysis

Just to name a few.

But even more important than those skills… you’re being someone for your client.

You’re being a stand for possibility. Which just means you choose to stand in a place where you can see that so much more is possible than your client realizes.

In the movie, a Star is Born the famous singer sees a young singer with talent performing somewhere and takes an interest in them. The famous singer is standing in possibility. They see that so much more is possible for this young singer then they even realize. More so, they have the ability to draw it out of them.

THE MOST VALUABLE THING YOU DO AS A COACH IS THIS!!!

And you don’t need to be a famous singer to do it.

What you need is an intimate understanding of possibility. What you need is an experience of someone standing for your possibility.

What you need is practice in the art of being with someone, finding out what they want, figuring out what’s in the way, and supporting them to take on the steps and beliefs. It’s a whole different set of skills than building a million dollar business or running a law firm.

And it’s why I coached a CFO at Nokia.
A CEO of a digital marketing agency in Peru.
A writer with work in the NYTimes
without ever doing ANY of these things.

The skill they needed to do their job was irrelevant to the skills I needed.
I never let a client’s desire for something I can’t do, stand in the way of what I see as possible for them.

If you’re wondering how you can help these people.
PRACTICE HELPING PEOPLE.
The deeply felt confidence you get when you realize you can choose to stand for anybody’s life, and possibility is irreplaceable.​

Love,
Toku

PS The Spring Dojo is already over half full. If you want one of the five remaining slots. Please let us know. It’s the ONLY dojo we’re running in 2021 right now.

Is This The Year?

You’ll become the coach you dreamed of . . . making a living, doing the work, hiring that coach you admire?

You’ll become the leader you pretend to be . . . empowering others, stepping outside the pocket and taking a risk, putting yourself on the hook?

You’ll become responsible for not just who you want to be, but who you are right now, fame and flaws?

It may be and it might not . . .

But one thing is for sure, it won’t happen through grand pronouncements or resolutions. It won’t happen because you made a big post about it on JAN 1.

It will happen through a thousand little choices, a thousand little practices. And perhaps the most important practice of noticing when you’re not being it, without shame, without judgment, without avoidance, and then choosing to return.

Performance is NOT morality.

Failure is not a sin. It’s not even that significant.

I wish for you a year of practice, more than victory, or success, or millions of dollars, or followers.Because there is no separation between Practice and Mastery. Practice and Success. Practice and Liberation.

Practice is mastery, success, and liberation.

It’s all the same.

May you practice well.

And thank you in advance for supporting my practice and very often without even knowing it, for being my practice as well.

Love,
Toku

The Best Coaching Sessions Are Boring

Don’t get me wrong. I love it when a session with a client is full of emotion. Maybe they burst into tears and are on their growth edge, or they are so fueled up with energy that they cannot wait to take on a new challenge.  If I’m honest the best coaching sessions—the ones that have the most lasting impact—are the boring ones. But this is hard for most coaches to understand, especially new coaches.

 

The difference between swings and homeruns. 

If you want a truly masterful coach you’ll likely be impressed by their ability to cause big tectonic shifts with relative ease. In the world of coaching, you might call these home runs. 

They are:

  • The questions that crack a client open
  • The reframes that shift perspective in a big way
  • The words of appreciation that open a client’s heart

I love home runs. I remember watching coaches like Rich Litvin, or Steve Chandler, or Michael Neil, or Byron Katie and many others. And being blown away by their home runs. 

And I remember going out and trying to replicate them. 

I’d ask BIG QUESTIONS 
I’d stare intently at the client willing them to cry
I would pluck on heartstrings
I would give bold speeches

A lot of this ‘worked’ in that it created a reaction in my clients. 
But much of it wasn’t great coaching. 

Slowly I began to notice something. While the home runs were great, they didn’t lead to change. 

So I went back to the drawing board. I began watching sessions in a new way. 
I stopped looking for the home runs. I started watching in between them. 

Eventually I began to see what these great coaches were doing.
They weren’t trying to hit home runs at all. 

They were trying to take swings. 
They would listen and take a swing. 

Sometimes it hit, sometimes it didn’t. 
But that was ok. 

They would learn from the last swing. 
They would listen even more closely. 
They would lean into the client. 

And then they would swing again. And again. And again. 

With each swing, they would notice what landed or what didn’t. 
No one swing mattered that much to them. Their swings were graceful, elegant. 
They were mostly unattached to hitting a home run, they swung because they loved to swing. 

That’s when it hit me. 

If I want to be great, I need to learn to swing. 
Even when I don’t hit the ball. 
Maybe even especially when I don’t hit the ball. 

I need to learn to swing. 

And sure enough, the better I got at taking swings the more home runs I hit. 

But it was only by letting go, by not needing to hit home runs, and by letting myself be boring that I saw the results. 

So now, when I have a session that’s all swings and no hits, I don’t worry about it as much; 
I simply let myself swing. I feel the motion of the conversation. I enjoy the sound of dialogue. I know that if I keep swinging and paying attention, eventually something will open. 

A whole session of swinging can feel boring. But these sessions are often the ones that create the momentum, lay the groundwork, and inspire the big changes that come later on. 

Please don’t get attached to hitting home runs, or making your clients cry. 
Focus on the swing, the being, and the way you stand for your client. 
If you put your attention there not only will you get better home runs, but you’ll also enjoy being a coach so much more. 

Coaching Only Takes 3 Steps

The Surprising Truth: Coaching Is Actually Very Simple

If I want to sell you on coaching, I will make it seem like it’s super difficult. And then like a magician (or a con artist) I’ll remove the barriers. I’ll tell you that I’ve got a magical map through the forest. One where all the traps and beasts are marked on it. If you use my map, you’ll be nice and safe.

But this is a lie.

Coaching isn’t complicated. It’s actually very very simple.

This is how coaching works.

First, you become possibility. You don’t talk strategy and offer suggestions. When you sit in front of the client you believe in and embody that anything is possible for them.
You breathe it. You embody it. You express it.

Second, you sit across from someone and you ask them what you want.
And you keep asking them until you can feel you’ve got it. You’ve got a hold of what they really want. Not the strategy, the thing they think they can get, or the thing they think they should want. But the thing they actually want.

Third, you find out what keeps them from getting it. What stops them or how they stop themselves. You explore it until you understand it completely. Until both of you know this thing with the intimacy of your own breath.

That’s it.
Be possibility.
Find out what people want.
Becoming intimate with what’s in the way.

It’s not complicated.

All the tools, questions, and processes are really just designed to help you do that.
Be possibility.
Find out what people want.
Become intimate with the obstacles.

So simple and also quite challenging. The simplicity itself is perhaps the biggest challenge.

That’s why at some point learning more doesn’t help.
The only thing that helps is practice and being.

The practice of keeping it simple.
The practice of being possibility.
The practice of standing for your client no matter how they show up.

Don’t make it complicated so you can avoid the challenge.
Keep it simple, so you can fully embrace it.

Love,
Toku

PS If you are ready to embrace the simplicity and become a master coach, apply for the spring 2021 dojo here.

The Origin Story of the Dojo

I remember the second coaching intensive I ever attended. I was full of myself. I had just crossed the six-figure threshold. I was a member of the high-level mastermind everyone wanted to be a part of. I had expensive new shoes. 

And I noticed something. There were a lot of coaches around me who didn’t feel that way. Coaches who had been coaching for a long time, years more than me, and yet they were stuck. I couldn’t figure it out. Part of me thought well I’m just hot shit that’s why I’m doing so well, but another part of me knew that wasn’t true. I knew I was good but I didn’t think it’s because I was super good, I figured there had to be a reason, but I couldn’t figure out why. 

Until we did speed coaching. 

We sat in opposite rows, we coached, one row got up, moved down one seat, and we coached again. It took me three sessions to realize that most of the coaches were not great. I mean they were fine. They asked interesting questions, they leaned forward with a tentative eager look, but beyond that, there wasn’t much. 

Each session felt formulaic, heavy, constructed, and boring. There were a few highlights but mostly I was blown away that the majority of the coaching I experienced was at best, mediocre. Yes, I was being cocky. Yes, I had absurdly high expectations (especially then). Yes, I know fast coaching isn’t the same. But the impact was the same and I had my answer. 

The reason why most coaches were struggling was because their coaching was just fine. Not bad, not great, but fine. 

And I started to wonder how I could fix it. 

After all, the enrollment techniques most of us were using—sometimes called relationship selling or the prosperous coach method—put A LOT of attention on your coaching. 

The idea was that you connect with people, find an opening, invite them to experience coaching, and then sell them based on that experience. Which works great if you 1) have a super charming personality and/or 2) you create a really incredible coaching experience. 

If you don’t do either your results will end up being as mediocre as your coaching. 

So I started to think about how I could help people get better.

 

The Motivation of Debt

A few months later I formed a small mastermind group focused on retiring debt. The 3 of us all had built up a fair amount of credit card debt investing in various programs. So we started to meet on a monthly basis to talk about our money, how we spent it, and what we might do to earn our way out of the hole we had found ourselves in. 

I noticed that I was mostly focusing on signing one-on-one clients, which was fine, but I was only paying off debt slowly. I wanted to pay off my debt fast. So I came up with the idea to build a program, something that would allow me to pay off a big chunk of debt all at once. 

I thought about creating something for coaches. A short group program that would have a big impact on them. I wanted to help coaches get better. I wanted to give coaches a taste of what I had experienced at the monastery, but I wasn’t sure how. 

I shared the idea with the group and they liked it. My partner at the time, Christina (who was also a member of the group) said she’d be down to collaborate with me on it. 

At first I just wanted to have people practice coaching. I also wanted them to meditate daily and learn to study their own mind while simply sitting. It wasn’t much more than that. Just meditation and practice. 

But Christina pushed me to create more structure. So we started talking about what had helped us become better coaches. We remembered some of our conversations where we had traded sessions and spent a long time afterwards talking about what did and didn’t work in the sessions. 

We shared feedback with one another and that feedback, which was honest, kind, and curious helped us so much. 

I had encouraged her to be more forceful, to tell clients that she wanted to work with them, and to add more structure to her sessions. She had invited me to be more playful and to bring more joy and laughter into my sessions which could often feel very heavy and serious. 

This feedback grew over time and became more precise as we got to know each other’s coaching. 

We considered how we could combine this element with my monastic experience. Soon we were riffing on ideas. We talked about the icons of Zen and which icons invoked this kind of practice. That was when we started talking about Samurai and how they were both rooted in the zen tradition while also focused on improving their skills in community. 

It became the seed of what would become the Samurai Coaching Dojo

 

Happily Ever After? 

Of course that’s not the end of the story. Christina and I spent years refining the dojo. We learned a lot each time we ran it. Christina left the dojo, and Matt came on as a Sensei.  Matt and I have continued that tradition of simplifying and clarifying the message. Finding new ways to express this simple idea that it’s through practice and feedback that mastery is created. 

But it all started with a simple observation and intention to help coaches while also helping myself. 

I still believe deeply in the core of what the dojo is: an idea rooted in Zen. In Zen they call sitting Zazen. It’s often called practice realization because they don’t see any difference. Practice is enlightenment, enlightenment is practice. 

And that’s what I’ve always tried to keep at the center of the dojo. It’s not about the teachers, or the other students, or the model of coaching, or the tools and techniques. It’s about the practice. 

When you engage in the wholehearted practice of coaching, you can’t help but get better. You can’t help but feel more confident and deep. The trick is the wholehearted part. 

Most things simply engage your mind, but I’ve always tried to make sure the dojo engages every part of each coach that steps inside it. I haven’t always succeeded, but the core of the mission feels just, if not more, important than it ever has been. 

So that’s the origin of the dojo and that’s why I keep choosing to do it every year. 

 

Why Everyone Wants to Become a Coach

It’s 10:30 am and you awake in your beautiful home in Bali. You put on a loose fitting outfit as you listen to the birds sing through the filtered light from the overhanging trees. You wander downstairs to the sound of your personal chef making fresh green organic smoothies in your high powered blender. They smile as they pour you a glass and watch your reaction as you drink. You soak in the flavors of fresh mango and turmeric plus something else? “Passion fruit” the chef says to you with a smile. You give them a wink and wander out onto your gorgeous veranda. 

You open up your silver macbook pro and check your email. 86 people have bought the 21 day course you put online last night and you’ve got three appointments for potential new clients that have been scheduled as you slept. 

You close your email and open your journal. At the top you write . . . Why I love being a coach and begin to record your thoughts. 

 

The Dream

This one BIG reason why people want to become a coach: they imagine that their life will be just like this. A profession that has meaning, a life of incredible freedom, being able to work from anywhere, and a small and acceptable form of celebrity. 

I do know coaches who live like this. (Hell, I actually sort of live like this.) 

I’m currently nomadic and live in AirBnb’s, I only work 4 days a week and I do long beautiful hikes in national parks on the weekends. 

I mostly buy what I want (though my tastes are not expensive) I eat in nice restaurants (or get take-out), and I love my work almost everyday. 

It is possible to get this as a coach, and that’s why people do it. The lifestyle, the promise of freedom, and because they worked with a coach and felt how powerful the process could be.

But this is largely an illusion. Not because you can’t achieve it, but because it’s not what being a coach is all about.  

Being a coach isn’t all about organic smoothies and exotic vacations. 
It’s not about freedom and lifestyle or being able to work from anywhere. 
It’s not about passive income and creating evergreen funnels. 

These can be part of it, but it’s not the core. 

The core of coaching is believing in the possibility of people, in the face of all of the things that are wrong, annoying, and inconvenient about people. 

It’s believing in your client, even when they don’t believe in themselves and their actions indicate that you shouldn’t believe in them either. 

You need this deep understanding in order to face the ‘reality’ of what being a coach actually looks like. 

 

Which looks more like this: 

You wake up at 6:30 in the morning with anxiety in your chest. You haven’t signed a client in a few weeks and you’re starting to get nervous. You know you should be taking action but your fear and distractibility all keep getting in the way. As you stumble out of your bedroom in the apartment you can’t really afford, you kick the empty pizza box you stress ate while watching TV the night before. 

You find a dirty glass in the sink, wash it out, and pour yourself a glass of water. Your blender is attracting flies but you’ll deal with that later. 

You open up your email and find three advertisements from coaches promising to give you all the answers to signing clients. You also find a late payment notification from your credit card company and a potential client that just canceled their session because ‘something came up’.

It’s not even 7 am and you already feel defeated. You click over to youtube and try to watch something motivational, but you just don’t have it in you. You close your computer, make coffee, and sit on the couch with your phone. 

By ten o’clock your neck is stiff and you realize you spent the last two hours scrolling through Facebook and reading articles on a news website. 

You figure this day isn’t really going how you thought it might and that maybe you should just try again tomorrow. 

 

Not that exciting right? 
But I’ve had lots of days like this. 

 

The only thing that’s kept me going is my commitment. My commitment to something bigger than myself, to my clients and my work, and to growth. 

It hasn’t been easy. It took me a year to get committed to a regular schedule and to empower some structure in my life. But I kept at it. I built something. Slowly and then quickly. 

Now my life does feel mostly effortless. I still get worried. I still have doubts. But they don’t slow me down. But it’s not because I live the life of the perfect coach. It’s simply because I’m not a coach so I can live in Airbnbs and work four days a week, that’s a side effect. 

The real reason I’m a coach is because it’s fucking magic. 
Because I get to be in the room where it happens. 
The room where people’s lives change. 

When I focus on that, everything else just gets simpler. 
So if you want to have success as a coach, find a bigger reason and get to work.

Practice your ass off and stay committed. 
It’s possible to wake up to organic smoothies, but first you have to wake up to your deep purpose for being a coach. 

Anything else is just a waste of time. 




Be a Better Coach in 5 Minutes

Take five minutes to connect with your commitment as a coach. My commitment is to serve those walking the path of awakening. I am NOT committed to getting likes or getting people to like me. When I forget this I get lost in whether my lack of likes means a lack of worth. 

So take five minutes right now to connect with why you became a coach, which likely has something to do with helping people, doing work that’s meaningful, and living a life that feels good to you. 

Feel that commitment in your body, take that commitment out on a walk, write your commitment down, or call a friend and share your commitment. It doesn’t take a long time to remind yourself of your commitments. And this small shift from how you’re doing, to why you’re doing it can have a HUGE impact on what you experience as you engage with the challenges and joys of being a coach.

There Are Many Kinds of Coaches… And They All Suck

There are different kinds of coaches in the world

There are life coaches – “I don’t have a real job”
There are executive coaches – “I have a fancy name for my not real job”
There are career coaches – “I don’t have a job, but maybe I can get you one”
There are business coaches – “I want to sell you facebook/linked in lead generation tools”
There are sex/relationship coaches – “I’m single let’s see if I can get you to be single too”

And yet if you’re in any kind of coaching group people call themselves all sorts of things: transformational, ontological, manifestation, intimacy, etc. etc. 

It’s not that these words have no meaning, or that they don’t distinguish different types of work. It’s just that they don’t matter to most of your clients or the people who will become your clients. 

Despite this coaches spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out what kind of coach they are because . . . 

 

THEY DON’T WANT TO BE CALLED A LIFE COACH

 

Life coach is a strangely dirty word in the world of coaching. It’s a dirty word because people see it as fluffy and meaningless, because… well it is. 

There are a ton of people trying to solve this. 

Certification agencies try to lend an air of credibility by offering people a piece of paper that doesn’t really mean that much. 

Marketing companies encourage you to create a niche so you stand out among the world of other life coaches. 

But none of these solutions really work. 

The truth is what you call yourself as a coach doesn’t really matter. 

Life coaches are awful because they can totally suck at what they do and they can still call themselves coaches. 

Business coaches are awful because they only care about numbers and strategy and are more likely to give you advice than actual coaching. 

Relationship coaches suck because you keep having the same fights. 

Career coaches suck because they just get you another job you hate. 

You can call yourself the 4th grand pooba of coachsylvania regardless of if your coaching is good. 

The real problem here isn’t the kinds of coaches. The real problem here is your coaching. 

It’s part of the reason we don’t talk about types of coaching in the dojo. 

What we talk about is mastery. What will make you get better? What will have your clients lives change? How can you be in a state of optimal improvement? How can you get more mastery in less time? 

These are the things you need to pay attention to as a coach. 

Stop worrying about whether being a life coach has any meaning or not. Instead, learn to become the kind of coach that stands above any category you put yourself in. Develop the confidence to talk about your work with pride. 

Be the one kind of coach you are, a you coach, a good coach, a coach that actually changes things.

Once you do that, you can call yourself whatever you want. And you’ll still get clients. 

4 Simple Truths About Being a Coach

You didn’t get into coaching because of the numbers. I mean maybe you wanted to make money at it, you wanted to take that instagram picture from your little casita in tulum and talk about how #blessed you were, but you didn’t really care about the numbers. 

You didn’t care about getting rich, you said. You didn’t need to be wealthy, you said. But you did want to pay your rent and do meaningful work. 

So you became a coach. They promised it would be easy. They told you to focus on serving, to let go of the outcome, to follow their step by step system. But it didn’t work. The numbers didn’t add up, and instead of questioning all of this common wisdom you ended up questioning yourself. 

 

So here’s the hard but simple truth about being a coach – 

 

#1 Shortcuts are easy to sell but hard to execute on – 

If it’s simple and easy, everyone would be doing it. So the fact that everyone isn’t doing it means it’s not simple and easy. 

Building a business and being a great coach takes work, dedication, time, and effort. You can skip a few steps if you’ve got a bunch of money and spend it well or have a natural network of incredible people, but most of this stuff isn’t shortcuttable. It’s better if you do the work. 

Doing the work means talking to people, connecting with them, figuring out what makes them tick, learning to sell to them, and dedicating yourself to improving as a coach. 

You want a shortcut, so the world of coaching obliges, but a shortcut rarely works. 

 

#2 You have to learn to sell – 

This is perhaps the hardest thing for most coaches to grasp. You have to learn to sell, to convince people to give you their money, and then to stand by your work no matter what results you get. 

Selling is hard for most people. It’s scary, it’s challenging, and it means overcoming a bunch of internal resistance, but despite what people tell you about being successful without selling, no coach I know that makes good money does it without selling. Some of them love selling and in truth you’d love to be sold by them. 

Selling isn’t evil or pushy, it’s simply the art of creating commitment. Selling doesn’t have to suck, but you do have to learn to master it. 

 

# 3 You will always be worse than you could be – 

Looking back at my clients from 2 years ago… I sucked at coaching them. I mean not really. Even two years ago I was better than most coaches. But compared to today, I gave way more advice, I got lost a lot, and I would lose my patience with them. As I continue to grow as a coach, I get better. I’m already a brilliant coach, but two years from now I’ll be even better. 

This is how it is. Always. If you’re new you’ll be fine, but not great. After a year or two you’ll be decent, maybe even good, depending on your training. It takes years to be great, but you’ll get better. You will always wonder if you could do more. That’s ok. 

Just let yourself be as good as you are and work to get better. Don’t let how much better you know you could be, stop you from being as good as you are. You’re the coach in front of this person and that’s better than no coach at all. 

 

#4 You have to care about the numbers

  • How many connection calls did you have last week?
  • How many coaching calls did you do last month?
  • How much do you charge?
  • What’s your profit margin?
  • What’s your burn rate?
  • What do you want to take home? 

You may not care about the numbers when you get started but eventually you have to. Because the numbers don’t lie. The numbers don’t have feelings. They don’t tell you if you’re a good or a bad person or if you’ve got a bad haircut. They just tell you the results and the performance of your business. 

So you have to care about the numbers. If you avoid them or make them mean something that they don’t really mean, then you’re screwed. The numbers are there to help you see where to put your attention. 

 

Final thoughts – 

Coaching isn’t for scared people. Though there are a lot of scared people in coaching. But that’s not what a master coach is committed to. They are committed to being great, to serving people, and to believing for people who often doubt themselves. Which by the way is most of us at least some of the time. 

These truths about coaching may be hard to accept, but accepting them, doing the work, and making a difference is what the life of a coach is all about. 

 

Toku

Is Becoming a Coach Worth It?

It’s hard to be a good coach. If you want to be a mediocre, sort of ok, minimum wage coach, that’s much less hard. There are literally thousands of books and courses on how to be an ok coach. 

But to be good, to be great, that’s hard. So before you take the leap, make the investment, and quit your day job, ask yourself, “Is becoming a coach worth it?”

You can only really answer this question yourself, but I’m going to do my best to help you figure this out before you get too far down this path. 

 

#1 Do you love people?  Are you also driven mad by them?

When I first wrote this, I typed, Do you enjoy helping people? But then I realized too many coaches get started because they like “helping” people. Except what they call helping people is really just telling people what to do.  

Most advice isn’t followed and it’s also not asked for. So changing someone is rarely about getting them to do something different. It’s about helping them discover what they really want. 

To be a great coach you have to love people. You have to love them even though they make stupid choices over and over again, you have to love them even when they get mad at you for telling you the truth, and you have to love them even when they are really whiney about something they can easily change. 

If you love people, becoming a coach might be worth it. If you just like telling people what to do, then work for TSA. 

 

#2 Are you curious?

Some people like being right and some people love being curious. Some people love both. 

Most great coaches I know love being right, but they love being curious even more. Curiosity has an element of humility to it. A willingness to be wrong and to not know. 

Even great coaches are wrong a lot, often they don’t realize it at the time and neither do their clients, but as we shift people, we do so from a series of guesses, distinctions, and explorations. 

Like working through a maze, there are a fair amount of dead ends. There are less as you get better but there are dead ends nonetheless. 

So you need to be curious and you need to long for curiosity more than you long for being right. If you need to be right, coaching will become about your ego and agenda. Sure some people will love that and you may find success, but that doesn’t mean you’ll find mastery. 

 

#3 Can you sell? Are you willing to learn?

Great coaches sell. They get clients to sign up. They do this in conversations and online. Great coaches simply learn how to get people to commit to change and then hiring them to create the change. 

Selling isn’t as mysterious or evil as you think it is. It can actually be enjoyable. But if you think selling is evil and you hate the idea of asking someone to pay you, you might be better off having a job where you sell once during the interview and collect a paycheck for years. 

If you sort of enjoy talking people into things or helping people get to yes then becoming a coach is worth it, if not you may want to do something else. 

 

#4 Do you really want to do meaningful work?

This may seem obvious, I assure you, it’s not. People say they want to do meaningful work, but they really don’t. They don’t like the pressure, the significance, or the depth of commitment meaningful work requires. 

You may prefer to have some lightness in your life, to keep things simple, or to not actually say your work is about changing lives. And that’s ok. 

Meaningful work sounds great on paper but what it asks of you is harder. It asks you to put your life, your ego, and your heart on the line. 

If you do meaningful work, you’ll be disappointed. You’ll wonder if it’s ever enough. You’ll work hard to change someone’s life and they won’t change. You’ll have to let go, let them be on their path, and trust that they will find their way. 

So be honest with yourself if you’re really up to this or not. 

 

So is becoming a coach worth it? 

For me it’s never been a choice. Once coaching found me, it hasn’t let me go. 

It’s magic. You get on the phone. You talk to someone. And their lives change. 

Recently a client of mine finally settled her divorce after years of strife around it. 

Another client got the promotion at work she had wanted for a long time and started enjoying her life more than ever before, she even let herself be fully committed to her amazing boyfriend for the first time. 

Another client repaired a relationship with a major client he was sure was at its end. All in the midst of the client getting some tough medical news. 

To me that’s magic. To me, all the things that are hard about being a coach are worth it, because of who I get to be for people. 

But it isn’t easy, it takes work, commitment, and guidance from a master to get great. 

So if it’s not worth it to you, choose something else. You can always be a great listener for your friends in between shifts at your amazing startup job or tell lots of people what to do at the airport while they are going through security.

Being a coach isn’t a ticket to freedom, but it IS a ticket to an incredible life, if you decide it’s worth it for you.