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The Fear Of Going Deep

One of the biggest fears coaches have – the fear of taking their clients deep. There’s this sense that deep down at the root of a client’s problems is fear, trauma, or pain so big you won’t know what to do. You’re afraid you’ll do damage. Afraid you’ll be clumsy. Afraid that you find yourself there and lacking and that it will rattle your coaching confidence to the very core. 


This fear leads to a host of problems:

  • You stay on the surface where it’s safe. 
  • You think of challenging questions, but you don’t ask them. 
  • You doubt yourself when you coach. 
  • You don’t create the space for your clients to feel all of their pain and fear. 
  • You never do the kind of deep work you see other great coaches do. 


So how do you address this? 

How do you know what to say? What to do? 

How do you prepare for something as a coach that’s unpredictable and a little scary? 


While I don’t have all the answers, let me share what I’ve learned so far. 

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7 Steps To Transform Your Life

It’s a new year, and many of us have been considering how we can become more of who we want to be this year. 

The best way to do this isn’t by making resolutions or only forming habits. The best way is by developing a deep understanding of who you are and declaring the life you want to create. The more you understand who you are and how you work and the more clear you are on what you’re up to in life, the more growth you’ll experience and the more satisfaction and possibility you’ll create for yourself and others. 

Of course, this is easy to talk about and hard to do. So in this guide, I’m going to break down how I look at change and some critical steps to discovering who you are and what you want to create in your life, as well as how you can get started. 

If you’d like some help with these BIG questions about life and growth, I invite you to do a Surrender Session with me all about what you want to create this year and in the years to come. I’ve already helped hundreds of people live lives of deeper meaning and satisfaction. And I’d love to help you too. 

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3 Questions To Ask This Year For Successful Professional Growth

Each year when we launch the dojo, I talk to dozens of coaches with one question on their mind:


What do I need to invest in and commit to growing professionally, become successful, and really make it as a coach? 


And each time I have that conversation, I can feel the pain and confusion in them as they try to choose. The amount of time most coaches spend trying to select the RIGHT program or coach is staggering because . . . Read more

Choosing To Be A Coach

You have to CHOOSE to be a coach.

Around this time of year, I begin to see posts by all my coaching friends about new year’s resolutions, strategic planning, and about creating the best possible year. I see new coaches starting social media challenges and seasoned coaches making bold declarations about acts of recommitment.

And yet for most coaches, this year will be much like the last:

– Sporadic attempts at enrollment
– Signing up for a new online course with high hopes then only watching half the videos
– Hiring a coach you think is excellent only to feel let down when you don’t get the results you want

There’s not a single reason why this happens to so many coaches, but there is one choice that I’ve seen make a big difference: The decision to be a coach.

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Making Space for Grief on Holidays

Many people see the holidays as a space for joy, which is a beautiful sentiment and intention. But the holidays are also a space for grief. For some people, the holidays remind them of turmoil and abuse. Having time and space with family wasn’t a blessing but a threat. Read more

What To Do If You’re Having A Life Crisis

A few days ago I wrote about the invention of the mid-life crisis and how to identify if you’re having one or not. Today, I’m going to tell you exactly what to do, if you think you’re having one, whether you actually are or not. Read more

Am I Having A Mid/Quarter Life Crisis?

While the mid-life crisis seems as old as modernity itself, it was actually invented by a British man with a french sounding name in the late 50’s. And even though science has largely disproven that a mid-life crisis exists, that doesn’t mean you aren’t having one. And it also doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do anything about it. In fact, I’m going to tell you exactly what to do, if you think you’re having one, whether you actually are or not. Read more

How To Develop Confidence In Your Questions

In many ways, questions are the core of coaching. So much so, that if you search for coaching questions you’ll get an ENDLESS list of 50 great coaching questions, 100 powerful questions, 1001 questions for any client.

Don’t get me wrong I LOVE reading list of questions as much as the next person.

But these lists never address the KEY challenge I see most coaches face.

Sure knowing good questions is helpful, but knowing which ones to ask and when is even more important, and trusting yourself to do that is perhaps the most important thing of all.Read more

The Coaching Industry Has Ruined Your Confidence

I used to wonder why so many coaches struggle with confidence.

But I don’t anymore.

I used to think that confidence came as the result of listening to the right advice, reading the right books, and following the right leaders. Again, not anymore.
The truth is that the coaching industry has ruined your confidence.

Instead of telling you the truth. Instead of letting you know that being a great coach takes work, commitment and practice, they’ve told you it’s easy.

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How “I Don’t Know” Can Build A Stable Coaching Business FAST

Let’s talk about how one Samurai built a business by embracing not knowing.

When Alex joined us in the coaching Dojo he was like A LOT of coaches in that he didn’t know much.

He didn’t really know how to coach.
He didn’t really know how to sell.
He didn’t really know how to find clients.
He didn’t even know what kind of questions a coach should be asking.

But that didn’t stop him.

In fact, he used DON’T KNOW MIND to become one of the fastest Dojo graduates ever to build a full time coaching business. He had a full practice within a matter of months.Read more