Dear Coach, Stop Being a Whiny Little B*tch

People come to you because they want their lives to be different. 

They see what’s possible. 
They got a taste of it somewhere. 

At a meditation retreat. 
On a vacation. 
In the pages of a book. 
In the embrace of a magical lover. 
Dancing at a concert. 

They got a taste of the infinite possibility of life. 

And then they woke up the next day feeling trapped. 
Ordering off of a menu. 
That has nothing on it that they want. 

They know that there’s more. 
They know that there’s something deeper. 

That life isn’t meant to be counted off like bottles of beer on a wall. 

And you have agreed to be the person who helps them. 
A dedicated liberator. 
A wise sage. 
A fellow traveler. 

Peering off into the distance 
Read to chase dragons and scale mountains. 

To help them squeeze the juice from life. 
And lick the last bits of pulp from their dying lips. 

But to do that. 
You have to stop being a whiny little b*tch. 

You have to have a stance on life that’s more powerful than the ordinary. 
You have to show up willing to create what you want. 
Instead of getting mad when it’s not brought to you on a platter. 

You have to be willing to believe in your clients even when they try
with all their might
to get you to believe they can’t do it. 

Even if they fail the entire time they’re with you. 
Your job is to believe in them. 
Beyond belief itself.

You have to move beyond quitting. 
Both your quitting and their quitting. 

It’s not that you should never say goodbye. 
But it’s that you have to be able to see when you are quitting. 
And choose back in, get more out, and move beyond your discomfort. 

Most people only try until it gets hard. 
You’ve got to be willing to try harder than that. 

You have to be willing to love. 
In the midst of heartbreak and hopelessness. 
To let your heart be wide and loving. 
Even as they insult you and call you a fool. 

You have to be willing to live in a way
that even if someone lied about you 
and called you names.* 

You’d be fine with who you were. 

You have to be willing to be responsible 
for your inevitable failings and stumbles 
and for things that aren’t your fault
and for which you have no control. 

You have to be willing to be an exceptional human being
who is deeply humbled by your humanity every day. 

Being a coach is such a fucking privilege. 
People come to you with their dreams
Swaddled and fragile. 

And you help them grow and become reality. 

What more sacred calling could there be on earth?

It’s a calling of the divine, of life itself. 
Despite what you might think of the industry, 
or the marketing, 
or the word life coach. 

So please for the love of all that is good, and worthy, and holy in the world. 

STOP BEING A WHINY LITTLE B*TCH!!

Get a coach. 
Do the work. 
Show up. 

You are more than capable. 
And if you’re going to help other people achieve greatness. 

Learn to discover daily the greatness in yourself. 
Find it and be it. 
Find it and practice it. 
Find it and generate it. 

That’s how you’ll make the difference you truly long to make. 

Love, 
Toku

 

*shout out to my friend Adam Quiney whose interpretation of this Zig Ziglar quote has become one of my favorites to repeat. 

People come to you because they want their lives to be different. 

They see what’s possible. 
They got a taste of it somewhere. 

At a meditation retreat. 
On a vacation. 
In the pages of a book. 
In the embrace of a magical lover. 
Dancing at a concert. 

They got a taste of the infinite possibility of life. 

And then they woke up the next day feeling trapped. 
Ordering off of a menu. 
That has nothing on it that they want. 

They know that there’s more. 
They know that there’s something deeper. 

That life isn’t meant to be counted off like bottles of beer on a wall. 

And you have agreed to be the person who helps them. 
A dedicated liberator. 
A wise sage. 
A fellow traveler. 

Peering off into the distance 
Read to chase dragons and scale mountains. 

To help them squeeze the juice from life. 
And lick the last bits of pulp from their dying lips. 

But to do that. 
You have to stop being a whiny little b*tch. 

You have to have a stance on life that’s more powerful than the ordinary. 
You have to show up willing to create what you want. 
Instead of getting mad when it’s not brought to you on a platter. 

You have to be willing to believe in your clients even when they try
with all their might
to get you to believe they can’t do it. 

Even if they fail the entire time they’re with you. 
Your job is to believe in them. 
Beyond belief itself.

You have to move beyond quitting. 
Both your quitting and their quitting. 

It’s not that you should never say goodbye. 
But it’s that you have to be able to see when you are quitting. 
And choose back in, get more out, and move beyond your discomfort. 

Most people only try until it gets hard. 
You’ve got to be willing to try harder than that. 

You have to be willing to love. 
In the midst of heartbreak and hopelessness. 
To let your heart be wide and loving. 
Even as they insult you and call you a fool. 

You have to be willing to live in a way
that even if someone lied about you 
and called you names.* 

You’d be fine with who you were. 

You have to be willing to be responsible 
for your inevitable failings and stumbles 
and for things that aren’t your fault
and for which you have no control. 

You have to be willing to be an exceptional human being
who is deeply humbled by your humanity every day. 

Being a coach is such a fucking privilege. 
People come to you with their dreams
Swaddled and fragile. 

And you help them grow and become reality. 

What more sacred calling could there be on earth?

It’s a calling of the divine, of life itself. 
Despite what you might think of the industry, 
or the marketing, 
or the word life coach. 

So please for the love of all that is good, and worthy, and holy in the world. 

STOP BEING A WHINY LITTLE B*TCH!!

Get a coach. 
Do the work. 
Show up. 

You are more than capable. 
And if you’re going to help other people achieve greatness. 

Learn to discover daily the greatness in yourself. 
Find it and be it. 
Find it and practice it. 
Find it and generate it. 

That’s how you’ll make the difference you truly long to make. 

Love, 
Toku

 

*shout out to my friend Adam Quiney whose interpretation of this Zig Ziglar quote has become one of my favorites to repeat. 

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