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What To Do if Your Coaching Client Wants To Quit: 4 Easy Steps

It’s morning. You wake up, pour your coffee, and sit down at your desk. Waiting for you in your inbox is an email from one of your clients telling you that they think your work together has come to an end. 

You feel a sense of shock and surprise. Maybe some part of you knew this was coming. But even though you knew the work had been challenging, the reality of this situation sinks in. 

As your mind starts to reel you feel a desire to shoot back a quick reply. 
You think about offering a discount, more time with you, or something else. 
You wonder if they’ll want a refund for the work you’ve already done. 
You feel groundless, uncertain, and maybe you even doubt if you should be in business at all. 

The truth is that clients quit. 
They do it all the time. 

As a transformational coach, my client’s wanting to quit is often a sign that the work we’re doing is powerful. That the client is on their edge and on the cusp of creating a lasting change in their lives. 

When this kind of change shows up the desire to turn back can be strong. 

Most of the time I’m able to work with a client to keep them engaged and focused on what they want and what’s in the way. 

But sometimes client’s just quit. And when that happens there’s usually nothing I can do about it. They’ve made a choice and they aren’t interested in getting supported to find a way through. 

When that happens I follow four simple steps. 

These four simple steps have helped me navigate the most challenging situations I’ve ever encountered as a coach. And I hope might help you navigate them as well. 

Step 1 – Pause

The #1 mistake I’ve made in responding to someone who wants to quit is responding too quickly. In the moments after getting an email or hearing on a call a client wants to complete early, I’m usually emotional. I could be upset, disappointed, frustrated, sad, or even angry. 

This isn’t the time to respond. Two emotional people talking to each other are much more likely to misunderstand one another, so the first thing I do is pause. I let myself feel what I’m feeling. I reach out to my coach or someone that I know can support me and talk the situation through. I let myself be heard and get some outside perspective. 

This makes sure that when I do respond it’s from the most grounded place possible. 

Step 2 – Take responsibility

Even if the reason the client is unhappy is 99.9% on them there is always a place you can find to be responsible. Maybe you said one thing and the client heard another, you can choose to be responsible for what they heard. Maybe you tried your best to make the client happy but no matter what you did they didn’t like your work, you can be responsible for their dissatisfaction. 

Our natural tendency is to defend ourselves and our work when we feel attacked, but defensiveness only invites more attacks or defense. If a client is being rude or unkind, set a boundary, but if not look for where you can be responsible. Don’t blame yourself (blame never makes anything better) but instead try to regain your sense of power and center. If you can find where you can be responsible you can find the place where you have some choice. 

Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you say to someone else. They are going to find fault and make you the villain regardless. And sometimes there may be legal reasons why you may need to keep quiet. But if you can share where you can be responsible it can have an amazing effect on both you and the other person.

Step 3 – Acknowledge and forgive them and yourself

There’s an incredible process called completion that a coach once taught me. Essentially when you get complete you express all of your hurt feelings, you find where you can be responsible, and finally, you find a way to be grateful for whatever came into your life as a result of the situation. 

No matter what this person thinks of you, their opinion is essentially about them. If you did something wrong either out of fear or by mistake you can learn from that mistake. Even if the person isn’t open to a response or a conversation, you can still acknowledge and forgive them and yourself for what happened. 

I’ve come to believe that people are always acting in alignment with their own well-being in the way they understand that well-being. You’re a human being, even if you screwed up, you are worthy of love and forgiveness. The other person is a human being, even if they’ve been unreasonable they are worthy of love and forgiveness. 

If you can find a way to forgive them and acknowledge them for whatever goodness or generosity they have demonstrated, do it. If you can’t, then pray for the willingness and try to come back to it later. 

No matter what you absolutely need to forgive and acknowledge yourself—not as a way to get you off the hook (your honest reflection is vital when this happens) but as a way to move forward and get back to what you’re committed to creating in life—life goes on after clients quit. In fact, losing clients and jobs have been some of the most powerful life catalysts I’ve ever experienced. It can feel like a tragedy but I assure you that it’s often the opportunity you never knew you needed. 

Step 4 – Live your life

There’s a popular quote that goes, “Live in such a way that if someone spoke badly of you, no one would believe it.” But I actually like the way my friend Adam says it even better. “Live in such a way that even if someone lies about you, you’ll be perfectly fine.”

Your goal in life and in business should never be to make everyone happy. I often tell new coaches that until you get sued or someone threatens to sue you, you’re not really a professional coach. That doesn’t mean you should seek out the experience of having an angry or disappointed client. 

You ought to work hard to deliver on what you’ve promised, live up to your word, and clean up when you make a mistake. But your life isn’t about what other people think about you. 

At some point you have to stand up for your work and what you believe in. You need to be open to feedback and honest reflection, but that doesn’t mean sacrificing your values in order to appease what other people want. This is why the final step is to get back to this commitment and live your life. 

Keep creating amazing designs, focus on improving your writing, and work hard with your next client to create the breakthrough they truly want. Get back to living your life and doing your best work. That’s really what the world wants most from you anyway. 

10 Things You Don’t Need To Apologize for as a Coach

A lot of coaches I meet apologize for things way too often. Sometimes these apologies are overt, “I’m sorry I upset you by holding you accountable.” Sometimes these apologies are subtle “I’m not actually saying this out loud but I’m sorry I’m charging more than you might have expected for coaching” Most of these apologies are unnecessary. 

Your job is to help your clients change their lives. To do this you’ll likely need to make them uncomfortable, take risks in what you ask them, and even at times create a situation that will cause them to become upset, defensive, and even accusatory. You can’t do this if you’re apologizing for standing for what they are committed to creating. 

 

So here’s a list of things you don’t need to apologize for as a coach. 

  1. How much you charge – If people are upset that you charge that much, they don’t have to pay it. If they’re upset about it, it’s because of their own context around money, value, and worth which has nothing to do with you.

    Creating your fees is about your own stand on commitment and your willingness to be in a powerful conversation with clients about what is required to work with you. There is no right fee, so you don’t need to apologize for yours. 

  2. That you charge at all – Some people expect free emotional labor. Not just from you but from the world. You don’t need to apologize to them. Being clear about when you’re coaching out of generosity and when it’s time to create a commitment (including fees) will have them be invested in the work.

    Money isn’t the only way to invest, but in the current world we live in it’s a powerful stand-in for energetic commitment. Asking for people to be committed is part of being a coach so don’t apologize for it. 

  3. Having Boundaries – Your clients will inevitably have some expectations of you, some of these will easily align (you should be clothed during our sessions), some of them may not (you should answer my texts at 2 am). Because these expectations will vary most coaches create agreements and boundaries around how the relationship will work. You don’t need to apologize for these boundaries.

    You are leading your client into having a powerful relationship with life. You model that by having a powerful relationship with them. If they don’t like your boundaries they can hire someone else or they can negotiate with you. But you don’t need to apologize for them . . . ever. 

  4. Asking Clients to Abide by Agreements – You likely have agreements with your clients. If you don’t, it’s a good idea to create them. Sometimes clients don’t empower agreements which is pretty normal. When this happens it’s easy to get some push-back when you remind them or ask them to step into the container you created.

    Reactions and defensiveness are to be expected, but you don’t need to apologize for asking them to abide by these agreements. You can be empathetic and curious, but you don’t need to apologize for holding the container. 

  5. Making Small Human Mistakes – Sometimes you’re going to say the wrong thing, ask a question in an odd way, and forget someone’s name (not the client’s😬). You don’t need to apologize for these things most of the time. You are allowed to be human. Your client is allowed to be human.

    If they need to be acknowledged, do so, “Right her name is Susan, thanks for reminding me.” but mostly just move on. If your client demands you apologize for things like this, consider getting a new client, or invite them to take a look at what’s going on. 

  6. Saying No to Potential Clients – Whether the client isn’t a good fit for what you do, they creep you out, they’ve done something inappropriate, or you just don’t like them, it’s ok to say you don’t want to coach them anymore. You don’t have to apologize for this. You don’t even need to act apologetic, just be honest and refer them to a coach that can help them.

    You get to choose your clients just like they get to choose their coach. If they get super upset it’s probably even more reason why you should refer them out. 

  7. Ending Client Engagements – Most people need to switch coaches at some point. And sometimes you need to switch clients.  It may be because something has soured in the relationship that you or they are unwilling to take on or it may be that the relationship has come to a natural end. You don’t need to apologize for ending the relationship.

    If the engagement is ending early you should talk to your coach and some peers about it, but if you’ve gotten supported and you’re clear, don’t feel bad about ending it. If you do think the relationship can survive with some changes then bringing them to the client is a good idea. But no matter what, you have the right to end a coaching relationship. You don’t need to be apologetic about it if you are clear it’s what’s best for you, the client, or both of you. 

  8. Raising Your Rates – Prices change all the time. You are under no obligation to keep your prices the same unless you have an agreement that states you will, and even then you’re allowed to renegotiate. Sometimes people don’t like this, that’s fine, they have a right to get upset. And you have a right to raise your rates. Don’t apologize for charging more for what you do. 

  9. Clients Getting Upset – It’s likely that you’ll have an upset client at some point. If you really did something wrong, broke an agreement, and/or spoke from privilege unconsciously feel free to apologize. But most times when your clients get upset you will have done nothing wrong.

    Transformation can be upsetting. Most of us are comfortable with how things are even if it’s not really working for us. This is why when a coach works with us to change things we often get upset because the change is confronting. So if a client gets it, don’t apologize and assume you did something wrong. Get curious, listen, and really understand the nature of their upset. If there’s something to clean up, do it, but don’t apologize for coaching people. 

  10. Clients Wanting To Quit – Just like in #9 if you have your clients on their edge, many of them will want to quit. Quitting looks different for each person. Some people demand a refund, others just slowly disengage, and some stop feeling their feelings as they trudge through the work.

    It’s your job to notice how and in what way they might quit, to warn them that it might happen, and to support them to get back into commitment when it shows up. But you don’t need to apologize when it happens. Clients wanting to quit is a sign of good coaching. 

 

Ok, but when should I apologize? 

  • When you’ve broken an agreement. 
  • When you’ve spoken from privilege or expressed a racist/bigotted view. (intention doesn’t matter) 
  • When you have gone too far and hurt someone’s feelings. 
  • When your lack of consciousness has caused pain. 
  • When you’re truly sorry. (vs anxiously obligated to please through apology) 
  • When you’ve done something unethical or unkind. (again intentions aside) 

Most coaches I know apologize or embody apology too often, except for the ones with overly healthy—aka unhealthy—egos (those coaches don’t apologize nearly enough). If you’ve read this far you’re likely one of the former coaches. For you, I would encourage and advise you to be less apologetic, more responsible, and more compassionate and bold in your coaching and your life. 

Powerful coaching is not for the faint of heart, it’s for warriors of the truth and people who are committed to living in a way that’s more than ordinary. If you can be that for other people as well as yourself you can learn to really impact those around you. So get to work. 

 

The Three Stages of Creating a Successful Coaching Practice: Transformation, Desire, and Commitment

Almost every coach I know has had some deep experience of transformation. 

For some of you, it was a moment of enlightenment, a crisis, a coach, or a teacher that made a big impact on you. But for every single person I know who is a coach (if they’re any good), they have this deep and profound experience of what it is like to have your life transformed by being in relationship with another person. 

A person who chooses to see you, to hold you, and to work with you in a way that no one else has before. A person who believes in your possibility, who pushes you, who challenges you. Every coach I know has had that experience and often many of those experiences. 

For some of us, there emerges a desire, a calling. 
A desire to be in the kind of relationships that change people’s lives. 

In meaningful and profound ways. To not just be in a kind of relationship where we watch football or drink some wine or hang out and complain about politics or movies or entertainment. But to be in the kind of relationships and conversations that have a lasting impact. That leave an indelible mark on each other’s souls or ways of being. 

And then for a smaller group of those people, there rises a commitment. 

A commitment to finding the structure, statement, willingness, and courage to plant a flag in the earth and say “I am this kind of person for you. I am this kind of person for the world. Come have a conversation with me. Come make commitments with me. Come step inside my container and I will create that kind of relationship with you.” 

These are the three steps: impact/transformation, desire, and commitment.

Most coaches I know have the first two handled. 

They have lots of powerful experiences of transformation and they have a deep desire to create something in the world. They lack the third which is commitment. It’s where I see coaches stop again and again because they think that the experience and desire are enough. 

Experience and desire to help people and transform is incredible, but unless you are willing to commit to master the structures, skills, and ways of being in the world so you can consistently—as a way to make a living—offer this kind of incredible relationship and incredible conversations, you are going to continue to struggle. 

It is not a roadblock. It is not an unfortunate reality that you have to figure out. This isn’t “I wish I could just coach but unfortunately, I have to figure out this… I have to figure out marketing”. No. 

It’s the thing that sets apart those that talk about wanting to serve and those that serve. It is the thing that stands between wanting to make a difference and actually making a difference. 

And sure there are problems with business, marketing, and sales, but if you can master the commitment, structure, ways of being that have a lasting impact on the world which allows you to earn a living changing people’s lives, that is not insignificant. 

That is not a footnote. That is not a thing to be moved aside. It’s not traffic to get around. It’s a vital process. A process that not only helps you become a better coach but helps you be the kind of person that actually makes a change in the world. 


That is why I created the coachingMBA. 

I created the coachingMBA not because I want to teach you a bunch of business skills, though we talk about business skills. 
Not because I want to teach you about marketing and sales, though we talk about marketing and sales. 

I created it because I saw that being able to master this thing called creating a coaching practice, being able to master the thing called creating a coaching business, getting clients, managing your money, and learning how to get stuff done and produce work that makes a difference in the world, is what separates the journeyman coaches from the mastermind coaches. The wannabe’s from the people who are making a huge impact in the world. 

If you’re the kind of coach who has had an incredible experience of transformation and has an incredible desire to change the world but can’t seem to nail the commitment, who looks out there and sees all the marketing crap and all the five-step processes to get clients that’s not quite it, I hope you take some time to check out some of the stuff on this site and some of the stuff that I’ve written.

Your calling, the thing that happened after your transformation, the thing that caused your desire to rise, is a sacred desire. And it is worthy of a sacred and meaningful commitment to mastering this thing that is so important to getting your work out to the world. Not as a footnote, not as an obstacle, a hurdle to cross, or some box to be checked. But as integral and aligned with the greatest things you have to offer the world. And the changes that you want to create. 

I hope that we’ll get a chance to talk and connect. And if not, thank you so much for being a coach.

Context Coaching: Shift Your Coaching With This 1 Thing

The single piece of advice I’m about to give you completely shifted one of my client’s coaching. 

The tip was so simple I was surprised when he told me how much better his coaching had become, how much more he understood what was happening with his clients, and how he felt like for the first time he could show up on every call with something to talk about. 

The reason this advice is so important is that it’s something great coaches do CONSTANTLY but that you rarely notice. It’s like the music in a movie. It sets the tone but you don’t notice it unless someone removes it. And yet many coaches don’t do this and it’s why their coaching isn’t as good as it could be. 

OK, enough build-up here it is. . . 

  • Your client is and always in some sort of context. 
  • Most of the time this context is completely invisible to your client. 
  • And yet this context almost entirely dictates what your clients think is possible, the options they see to take, and the way they feel about the world and themselves. 

Your job as the coach is to

1) Reveal what your client wants
2) See the context they are in 
3) Work with them and the context to help them get what they want

The first mistake most coaches make is that they don’t find out what people want. 

Someone comes and says something like, “I feel like my boss is being unfair to me.”

And the coach rushes off to start asking questions about their relationship or worse just starts giving them tips on boundaries and managing up. 

You don’t know what the client wants. 

So ask. 

And keep asking until you and they are both clear. 

(BTW a session all about what a client wants is an AMAZING session) 

The second mistake coaches make is that they find out what the client wants but they don’t see or identify the context the client is in. 

This in and of itself isn’t a problem. 

The real problem is that when you coach someone who is inside an undistinguished context it is VERY likely you’ll end up inside of it as well. 

The analogy that’s often used is a hole. But for today I’m going to use a living room fort. 

YOUR CLIENT IS IN A LIVING ROOM FORT

You know the kind of fort people build as kids with couch cushions and sheets. 

So I want you to imagine your client is inside a living room fort. 

And you’re trying to understand them. 

You’re talking to them, asking them questions. And they are answering but you don’t get them. 

So you start walking closer to the fort because you’re trying to understand where they’re coming from and what they see. 

And before you know it you’re inside the fort. 

You see what you see. Which is great!

But you no longer see the fort. 

Which is a problem. 

Because the fort (the context) is dictating what’s possible and what actions are available. 

You only see what they see from here. And so you can only coach them to do things inside the fort. 

DON’T DO THIS!!!!

Because you’re not really changing people’s lives. You’re simply moving things around inside a fort. You are rearranging deck chairs on a personal titanic. 

Your client has probably already done 90% of what’s possible inside the fort. 
It’s very likely they’ve been in there a while. 

And it’s VERY unlikely what they want is inside that fort. 

If you want to truly serve them you have to help them see they are inside the fort. You have to help them get what’s possible from stepping outside it. You have to work with them to leave the fort while distinguishing what it’s like to be inside it so that when they find themselves inside it again (which they will) they can find their way out. 

Which is why . . .
As you’re coaching . . . 

Be asking . . . 

What’s the context my client is inside of? 
What do they see? 
What do they believe? 
What do they want? 
Do I see the context? 
Do they see the context? 
How can I help them see where they are so they can go where they want? 

Keep their context in view AT ALL TIMES

If you lose it (and you will) step back and figure it out. 
Let there be silence. 
Let there be space. 

CONTEXT, CONTEXT, CONTEXT

It’s so important. So get fierce about it. 

And your coaching will never be the same. 

Curious about the role of context in enrollment?  Watch this video about creating a powerful context.

Is the Coaching Industry Overcrowded? Concerns of New Coaches in a Growing Industry

One of the people in my mastermind shared this quote:

“The massive influx of coaches since Covid started has completely changed the rules of the game. Literally, tens of thousands of people are now calling themselves a coach who weren’t a couple of years ago.

And that figure is growing, so you’d better be ready for some hard work and to get help because otherwise, you’re wasting your time.

But it is doable if you’re utterly committed, prepared to work really hard and you’re very patient.”

Original source

They wanted to know if I thought the industry had changed because of COVID, and how much competition coaches have.

I hear statements like this every year or two…
There are so many coaches
There’s tons of people who have come into coaching
There’s a lot of coaching companies

And these statements are probably true. There are probably more coaches out there than there were a couple years ago.

The other truth is, most coaches are journeyman coaches; aka they’re mediocre at best. This is not a dig on coaches, it’s just the way the coaching industry trains people.

The ICF and the other coaching organizations train people for competence. They want to make sure people are competent. There’s nothing wrong with that, I’m actually glad they exist and have standards by which they decide where people are competent. 

But the truth is, the very best coaches will continue to remain in high demand.

The reason is that 45 minutes spent with a journeyman coach is vastly different from 45 minutes spent with a really powerful coach, who’s being, way of showing up, intention and style is truly unique.

If you are simply running life wheels, 360 reviews, and using basic accountability, it’s going to keep getting harder and harder. That part of the market is going to get commodified, just like everything else… a journeyman massage therapist, lawyer, tattoo artist, etc.

If you’re at the level of a journeyman, you’re always going to struggle.  It doesn’t matter which profession you’re in. Maybe there was a time where you could just show up and do a life wheel and people were blown away by it.

But again the best coaches will and always will remain in high demand.

Most journeyman coaches don’t realize that they are journeyman coaches. They don’t know what they’re doing, but they always think they’re doing what’s necessary or whatever is required, they’re going through the motions.

If you realize you’re that kind of coach, great! You have an opportunity to change.

If you’re a great coach and are working really hard to be a great coach, you should not ask yourself “Am I any good?” which is the question of the journeyman coach. Rather, you should be asking yourself , “how good can I get? How can I show up and take the decisive action? How can I get the very best teachers and trainers? How can I do the work on myself to show up powerfully, day in and day out for my client so I’m unconditionally believing in their possibility?” 

Quotes like this, which was probably pulled from a marketing website, are all designed to act on fear so you go “oh no I’m not going to get clients, I better sign up for this program”.

I don’t sell that way, the best coaches I know don’t sell that way.

The thing I build my mastermind on, the thing I sell to my clients is not just-enough coaching, it’s the very best coaching I can offer. I leave everything on the mat with my clients. In my mastermind, the time we spend together is a launching point for them to go and multiply whatever their investment is. It’s not because I want them to become “pretty good”. It’s because  I want them to become the very best coach they possibly can be.

So long story short, if you’re just trying to do the bare minimum and get by, you don’t want to transform your relationship to time, money, clients, and your own work, then yes you will struggle.

That’s how most coaches are. They struggle.

But if you’re willing to take that extra step, to truly transform how you show up to your coaching practice, how you show up to your clients, to truly transform the way you relate to your business and your life, you’re going to be fine.

That’s the work of great coaching. That’s the work of changing people’s lives. That’s why most people actually get into coaching in the first place.

So if that’s where you are and that’s where your focus is and you can find good teachers, you’re going to be just fine. Don’t worry about the coaching industry being too crowded.

5 Hustle Questions That Could Save Your Life

To be successful you’ve got to hustle right? I mean that what separates the truly dynamic and successful people in any industry, Musk, Bezos, Zuckerberg, Gary V, Tim Ferris, etc. etc. they ALL HUSTLE.

So if you want to know if you’ve got what it takes to be successful answer the short 5 question quiz below

  1. Are you more committed to working and making it happen than close relationships, rest, etc?
  2. Do you take work to bed? Work on the weekends? Do you find time to hustle on vacation?
  3. Do you prefer to talk about your hustle more than any other topic?
  4. Do you get impatient with people who don’t get why you’re so focused on hustling?
  5. Do you think about hustling while driving, conversing, falling asleep, or sleeping?

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If you answered yes to most or all of these questions then you are truly aligned with hustle culture. But you might also be a workaholic.

That’s because these questions are actually adapted from the workaholics anonymous website. They’re 20 questions to help you see how you might be using work as a way to avoid your feelings, fill a vast and empty hole inside of you, and generally give you a sense of self or worth.
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But Hustle culture isn’t all bad.

It’s based on a simple idea: Anything is possible with hard work and determination.

And this idea at its core is a good idea. Too many people believe that they can’t create the lives they want because they lack the education, connection, skills, or background to create what they want. This fundamentally isn’t true. In fact, it’s something that I work with clients on regularly.

But hustle culture also ignores the fact that being white, male, having a good education, and access to good credit or sources of funding all have an outsized effect on your ability to make hard work, work for you.

It also ignores the fact that overworking as a way to create identity is dangerous, because if your identity is all about hustling then you can never stop hustling even after you’ve achieved success.

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The danger of endless work.

About 3 years ago I identified myself as a workaholic. Of the 20 questions on the WA website I answered yes to 12-15 of them. It was a wake up call; it helped me see that work had not only become problematic for my health and well being, it had become the center of my identity.

I realized that life wasn’t supposed to be just about work for work’s sake. I also realized that my health, especially my mental health, wasn’t worth the rewards of overwork. Yes I liked making good money as a coach, but I didn’t love the hours of stress, the outbursts of emotion, the fights with my cofounder, and the endless sense of anxiety and pressure I felt.

I realized that life isn’t worth overworking through. So I changed my business. I slowed down. I took more time off. I figured out how to be more effective while working fewer hours. And now I work 4 days a week and make the same amount of money.

I sometimes still feel left behind by hustle culture. I feel like I should be working harder, especially when my partner stays up till 7pm finishing her own work, or when a friend of mine completes a big project after working long hours and nights… I wonder if I should go back.

But then I remember that it isn’t worth it.
YES I need to work hard.
YES I need to serve my clients.
YES I need to be on purpose and generous with my time and efforts.

But that doesn’t mean I need to go back to hustling so much that I lose myself.

You can be successful by applying yourself, working hard, and being persistent as all get out. You do need discipline and endurance to be a successful entrepreneur.

What you don’t need is to be shamed for taking care of yourself. It’s why I always have a coach that pushes me to work harder when I slack off or I’m avoiding what needs to be done, but who also advises me to get rest when I push too hard.

So get supported, stay focused, and when the noise that you should be working harder enters your head, check to see where it might be right, and let the rest of it go.

How To Get Coaching Clients When You’re Just Starting Out

New coaches often ask where to find new clients.

The short answer is you find clients everywhere.

The long answer is a bit more complicated. Most coaches get their first clients from their personal network. The people they have known, connected with, and built trust with throughout their lives. If you’re just starting out as a coach this is probably the easiest place to get your first clients because you don’t need to establish your authority with people.

But it is possible to build a network to find clients quickly and you can do this even if you’re not 100% sure what clients would be the best ones to coach.

My first few clients came from my Buddhist community. The next few came from the Start-Up community I’d been a part of before I became a coach. Then I started getting clients through referrals and connections I made all the time.

At the core all coaches find clients the same way:

  1. They find places where they can show up, be of service, and make an impact.
  2. They start showing up making a difference, connecting with people, and helping out.
  3. They deepen those connections and begin to share their coaching skills with others.
  4. They serve people powerfully, sign clients, and build a reputation for being able to serve others in their community.
  5. They rinse and repeat.

While this may seem like a formula most coaches don’t even know where to start. They tend to stay at home, publish some blog posts, build a website, and hope people will find them, but this almost never works.

You have to get out there and make an impact on the world. Results almost always follow impact and it takes courage to show up this way without any promise of results. There’s no single way to do this, but being willing to do it is what matters.

Inside the Embodied Mastermind I’m AMAZED at how quickly people start signing clients when they simply become willing to show up, connect with people, make an impact, and create commitments with the people they’ve served.

The clients are almost always closer than you think. They are literally everywhere, but you have to start by showing up somewhere and being a leader when you do.

Should I charge this client more than that client?

There’s this weird idea in coaches that you have to charge all your clients the same amount. Sure, if you found out I sold you a t-shirt for $20 that I normally charge $10 for you’d feel ripped off, but the comparison is a bad one. 

Coaching is more complex than a t-shirt and the price you charge has more to do with the level of commitment than the specific work you do or even the outcomes they’ll create. 

Having said that, there are 3-4 good reasons why you might consistently charge clients a different rate for coaching. I’ve laid them out in this video with a summary below:

 

1) They have different profiles – 

(job titles, income streams, positions, types of work)

I sometimes charge CEO’s a different rate than I would charge a new coach. And I’m certainly more willing to work to get a yes with a really talented coach than a CEO. Partially it’s because the type of person is different and often the portion of income they are investing is different. 

That’s certainly the case with the nun I coach who runs a hospice. I charge her less because I believe in her work and also because she’s a nun. 

 

2) The perceived value is different –

I’ve paid $40k+ for 1-1 coaches but I can’t imagine hiring a trainer for that same amount. Not because trainers have less skill but the value of that is less in the market. If you coach CEO’s and you coach career transition people the CEO might be seen as more valuable. Whether or not that’s true, it means you could decide to charge differently for career coaching. 

I’d rather have you create a better explanation of the value of your career coaching instead, but sometimes the perceived value or going rate does have an impact on what you can charge. 

 

3) The work is different – 

I have a client I only work with twice a month and she pays less than another client who I work with every week. I charge $5k to do a strategic planning session which is a little less than my hourly rate for coaching. And the mastermind group I run costs 1/10th of what working with me 1-1 costs. 

I charge different rates because the work is different. Sometimes I do different work and charge the same rate. After all, time doesn’t always equal value, but if the work is different you might charge something different. 

 

4) The entity you’re serving is different – 

If you’re being hired by a company vs an individual you might charge something else. Usually, this means the work is different but it may not be. It could be the same work, but since the client is the company you might charge more. This is similar to #1 but not exactly the same. Because it acknowledges that Business to Business sales can be different than when you sign a deal directly with a client.

 

 

The Nine Principles of Setting Fees | How To Calculate Your Coaching Fees

Principle 1 – All fees are made up. While they may be referenced by other fees, types of value, and what we consider affordable they are still basically just made up. 

Principle 2 – Fees are more related to the level of commitment than they are the level of value. Even though we tend to think that we’ll pay more for something that is more valuable, that value is always referenced related to what we’re committed to in our lives. 

Principle 3 – You can charge whatever you want so long as you can enroll someone at that level of commitment. 

Principle 4 – There are no groups of people out there for which creating commitment is inherently easier. While some people’s context of affordability, experience investing in coaching, and funding sources are different, creating true, deep, and lasting commitment requires effort for both the coach and the client. 

Principle 5 – Commitment and/or investment that comes easily and without examination is almost always based on attraction, projection, and pedestal-izing or guru-izing of the coach. Which is a shaky foundation for transformation at best and tends to disempower the client over time. 

Principle 6 – You can almost always charge more than you think you can if you are willing to stand more powerfully and lovingly for your client’s possibility, do the work on your own being, and practice being truly unattached to the outcome. 

Principle 7 – To you, your fee is your rent, to your client your fee is their rent, vacation, future investments, etc. Your fee has less to do with you than you could ever realize and way more to do with your client’s belief in themselves and how present they are to their own possibility. 

Principle 8 – While coaching fees certainly have an impact on how accessible your services will be to people from a certain socioeconomic status, they are still essentially amoral. It’s almost always better to discount or offer scholarships to people of color or people with fewer resources than it is to charge less in an attempt to be a ‘good person.’ There are almost always better ways to support people from diverse backgrounds than making less money.

Principle 9 – The conversation you have with your client around money and their willingness and desire to commit is actually the conversation that will change their life. Rather than money ‘tainting things’ it tends to clarify what people are really willing to put on the line and what they are really afraid of. This conversation may be the most important one you ever have with this person: be present, and serve them.

how to set your rate for coaching