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Am I Compromising Too Much?

From time to time every coach gets caught in one of three binds. In some ways, these binds are completely made up by us, in another way they align with the way the humans have always created the world. 

You can’t get free of these binds really, they will show up in one form or another as long as you’re a coach and have a business. But by understanding them and learning to see them you can choose how you want to be with them, rather than secretly being trapped by them. 

Over the next three posts, I’m going to break down the three binds and share how you can notice how you’re caught. 

If you’d like to see an example of how I work with these binds you can watch the first episode of Coaching Dojo Live – where I coach the amazing  Sarah Mastriani-Levi

https://www.facebook.com/toku.mccree/videos/10157291104952374/

 

Bind 1 – Compromise VS Stand

The world is always asking us to compromise, to be realistic, to lower our standards, to give in and give up. Anytime you take a stand you immediately invite polarization, criticism, fear, admiration, and resistance. 

As a coach, this shows up in a bunch of places: your fees, the kinds of clients you work with, even your investments in programs or coaches. 

But the first place it usually arises if with your fee. There’s often a sense for coaches that if they keep their fees low, they will sign more clients. And keeping your fees low or lowering them will often create some results. 

Every one of your clients has a context of affordability they live into. And if you lower your fees you get closer to the level they feel ‘comfortable’ with. You also have a context of worth you live into and the lower your fees are the easier it is for you to believe that you’re offering something of value to the world. 

*The problem is that the more you compromise the more you start to believe compromise is the answer.* 

So much so that you begin to ignore what you need to survive. 

You miss the opportunity to provide your clients with a real barrier to commitment that would have they confront their fears, self-doubt, and resistance. Basically, all the things they need in order to actually change their lives and show up to life differently.

This is why compromise is a dead-end road that leads nowhere and why coaches that do it so often either feel a sense of constant dissatisfaction or spiritual bypass as they struggle to pay their rent. Maybe, after all, you were just made to struggle? How heroic? 

 

THE ESCAPE

The escape out of this bind is to simply take a stand. To set your rates and learn how to create the commitment required to get there. To be clear on the clients you will and won’t work with and be with the breakdown of not knowing anyone like that. 

The irony of this is, that when you do take a stand, it’s easy to think standing is the answer and become rigid and arrogant. You’re WORTH your fee, your clients are saying no because they don’t BELIEVE in themselves enough. 

So again you find yourself in the bind. The escape is to soften, to let go of the need to stand as an answer, and to allow yourself to be more flexible and compromise from time to time. 

 

Neither end of this bind is the answer. The key is to notice where you are and try to not get stuck at either end. 

If you’re a new coach you likely need the medicine of stand. If you’re an experienced coach you may need the medicine of compromise. Both have something to offer. 

Again slow down and let go of the idea that either compromise or stand will solve all of your problems. If you tend to compromise learn to stand, if you feel rigid and arrogant learn to soften. 

And if you need help, let me know. I’ve worked with dozens of coaches with these binds and helped them find something that worked for them. 

The next bind is Selfish VS Generous keep an eye out for that post soon. 

You’re BAD At Hiring Coaches

Here’s what you want when you hire a coach:

  • You want to hire the best coach you can possibly hire. 
  • You don’t want them to cost TOO much
  • You want them to help you become more than you imagined. 
  • You want to be able to afford to work with them and be happy to refer them. 
  • It wouldn’t hurt
  • You want them to be inspiring

And yet, most coaches feel completely lost when it comes to finding a good coach to work with. They poke and prod, they guess around, they hire a celebrity (and are usually disappointed) they hire someone affordable (and you’re highly underwhelmed).

 

How do you avoid this? How do you hire a good coach you ‘afford’ that helps you get to where you want to go? 

 

It’s one of the most important and most challenging things you can do as a coach.

 

Let’s look at a few important ideas.

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3 Questions To Ask This Year For Successful Professional Growth

Each year when we launch the dojo, I talk to dozens of coaches with one question on their mind:

 

What do I need to invest in and commit to growing professionally, become successful, and really make it as a coach? 

 

And each time I have that conversation, I can feel the pain and confusion in them as they try to choose. The amount of time most coaches spend trying to select the RIGHT program or coach is staggering because . . . Read more

Choosing To Be A Coach

You have to CHOOSE to be a coach.

Around this time of year, I begin to see posts by all my coaching friends about new year’s resolutions, strategic planning, and about creating the best possible year. I see new coaches starting social media challenges and seasoned coaches making bold declarations about acts of recommitment.

And yet for most coaches, this year will be much like the last:

– Sporadic attempts at enrollment
– Signing up for a new online course with high hopes then only watching half the videos
– Hiring a coach you think is excellent only to feel let down when you don’t get the results you want

There’s not a single reason why this happens to so many coaches, but there is one choice that I’ve seen make a big difference: The decision to be a coach.

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The Coaching Adventure Game… WINNERS!!!

For the past 3 weeks, coaches have been playing an EPIC game we created called The Coaching Adventure Game. It had 100 challenges, in a variety of areas all designed to get into action, have fun, and grow your coaching business.

Anyone who played the game is a winner because they’d be growing their business. However, it is a competition with prizes, so here are the official winners of the 2019 Coaching Adventure Game! Read more

How One Powerful Question Could Make Your Coaching Conversations Worth $1200/Hour

Craig’s Story

Just last month, I stumbled across an opportunity for coaches with a financial background, so I reached out to a Dojo graduate and I was delighted by what he told me.

6 Keys Needed To Escape The “Not Enough” Stage

It takes more than a map to arrive in Stage 2 of the 4 Stages of a Coaching Business. You need to have the fuel and ability to make the distance.

We know its possible to escape the “not enough clients or cash” stage. We looked at each of the phases we’ll go through to break free and rise out of Stage 1. 

So armed with this information, what does it actually take to make it through those phases? 

The 6 Keys To Creating Escape

Here are the keys that will make escaping level 1 more likely to happen:Read more

The Four Stages of a Coaching Business

When I first started coaching,

I thought . . . If I can just charge a hundred dollars an hour, then I’ll have made it.

Then I thought . . . If I can just go to a Rich Litvin intensive, then I’ll have made it.

And then . . . If I can join 4PC, make over six figures, build a scalable business, hire a great assistant, write a book, write a speech…

On and on and on.

For years I chased the next milestone, the whole time missing what was right in front of me. Read more

The First Rule of Open Mat Sparring…

“Gentlemen, welcome to Fight Club.

The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club.
The second rule of Fight Club is: YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB.
Third rule of Fight Club: Someone yells “Stop!”, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over.
Fourth rule: Only two guys to a fight.
Fifth rule: One fight at a time, fellas.
Sixth rule: No shirts, no shoes.
Seventh rule: Fights will go on as long as they have to.
And the eighth and final rule: If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.”

–Tyler Durden, Fight Club


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How to Turn Shifts into Clients

Some coaches say clients pay you for results. Others say they pay you for the powerful insights you generate. And still others say it’s the possibility you get them present to.

But no matter how you talk about it, what your clients are paying you for directly or indirectly is what happens in the insight creation, or Shift, part of your coaching conversations. The reason is simple: the Shift is where things change. It’s where clients see their lives differently. It’s where they get present to possibility. It’s where they realize what they’ve been missing and create what wasn’t possible before.

If you understand this, you can use the power of the Shift phase to sign clients. If you don’t understand this, you’ll squander the Shift, it will create powerful conversations, but no clients.

This is how it normally goes (hint… not well). Read more