The 3 Stages of Energetic Leadership: Become A Great Leader

If you can learn to master and move on to the following stage you can lead more people and live a life of deep purpose. Stopping at any stage will slow your growth and limit your impact on the world. 

The first stage is not knowing what you’re doing. 

You feel awkward and unsure. Everywhere you step is like quicksand and your mind is wrapped in doubt and confusion. Many people get lost in fear. They believe the whispers of doubt like they were the truth.  The whispers aren’t true at all. But the only way to find that out is to keep going. 

The second stage is false certainty. 

You know what to do. You are a great leader. You are decisive, clear, powerful, determined, and aligned. Sometimes you dip back into the first stage but again and again, you return to this solid foundation of knowing what to do. People respect you for your confidence and power. You achieve and excel until you begin to notice that there’s something missing, something that still feels unsolid. 

The third stage is not knowing what you’re doing. 

You realize you’ve been making everything up all along. You don’t really know what the future holds. You make vows and plans but they are art and practice. Nothing is certain. What’s next comes to you in small insights and hints about which direction to go. You listen to your intuition and begin to distinguish when you’re coming from fear vs. love. You stop needing to know all the answers. Your achievements don’t matter, but you still keep working to create incredible work in the world. Purpose and joy become your guides. You relax more and more. 

You must experience each stage in its time. If you’re unsure, stay with it. Be unsure. Practice, improve, learn to find and create certainty. Discover how to trust yourself. 

When you’re certain, be certain and decisive, make plans and execute on them. This stage has incredible power and rewards don’t skip it. Immerse yourself in it fully. 

Then when it comes time to let go again, let go. Realize that you never knew in the first place. It was all an illusion even if it was a pleasant one.

Keep going. That’s what matters. Even when you’re stuck. Especially when you’re scared. Just keep going. There is more leadership out there for you. The world is begging for you to grow. Just. Keep. Going. 

Managing Upset

The difference between breakdowns and problems

A problem is something wrong with the world. A problem happens to us, they land on us, and we have no choice but to complain about them and how unfair they are.

A breakdown is something we can declare. It’s something that has interrupted our commitment to something. For example I may be committed to waking up at 9am. A party might happen outside my house the night before, I wake up late and complain about this problem. Or I might notice that I had an unrealistic expectation (“nothing will get in the way of me going to bed”) and so I declare a breakdown in my commitment by acknowledging that something is occurring to me isn’t the way that it should be.

Once I declare my breakdown I can acknowledge my upset, I can record the facts about what happened, and I can get into action around my commitment.

Very often the breakthrough is on the other side of the breakdown I’m avoiding. For example I might want a breakthrough in intimacy with my partner, but I’m afraid to talk to them about it because they might get upset or defensive. This would be a breakdown. One that I’m avoiding. So I survive the problem. Once I’m willing to be with the breakdown (the difficult conversation, my partners feelings, etc) then I can get access to the breakthrough created by having a conversation around intimacy.

Breakthroughs are a creation of something beyond the context of what I currently see is possible. They are something that get created when I expand or deepen my context through declaration, commitment, being with breakdowns, and revealing blindspots.

Part of why breakthroughs follow breakdowns is because it’s in the breakdowns that our blindspots get revealed.

Black and White Thinking — A Common Problem With New Coaches

Often when I talk to new coaches they get caught in black and white thinking about what good coaches should and shouldn’t do. 

– You should never ask a client why? 
– You should only ever ask questions. 
– You should never teach a client.
– You should never give advice. 

These guidelines are helpful when you’re starting as a coach.

– It’s easier to talk at a client than explore with them. 
– It’s easier to give advice than be curious. 
– It’s easy to ask why when you can’t think of something better to say. 

But these guidelines are simply guidelines and too often they become a religion for new coaches. Soon enough they are zealots preaching the gospel of pure coaching and the ICF standards. 

The best coaches I know push the boundaries of coaching while acting with a high level of integrity. Sometimes from habit but more often with conscious choice. Generally, they abide by the principles of what makes coaching work, but they aren’t bound to them. 

They see all the gray in between the lines. So if you’re new to coaching YES listen to the guidelines, try them on, if they feel hard to implement GOOD! That means you’re getting better as a coach. 

But don’t fall into black and white thinking. There are no rules to coaching and that’s the best and worst part about it. Your clients need you to be flexible enough to help them while maintaining enough integrity not to get lost. And learning how to make your way through the gray is essential is you’re going to truly become a masterful coach. 

What To Do When You Want To Quit Coaching

At least a couple times a year, I want to quit coaching. 

The clients are so annoying, they don’t want to do the work, they don’t want to change, and I start to feel like being a coach is pointless. 

The money (while good) is unreliable, it feels like I’m always just a few canceled contracts away from being stressed about money. Sometimes I’ve got plenty of prospects other times it feels like I only have a few. 

The work (while rewarding) is super difficult. I have to be the constant stand for deep possibility for each one of my clients. Even when those clients are being asshats. I have to do this even when I feel like I’m not present to much possibility in my own life and in the world in general. 

Wanting to quit is a normal part of life. 

During my marathon, I wanted to quit. 
During most of my long term relationships, I’ve wanted to quit. 
Hell even while writing this post, I wanted to quit. 

Stepping into anything worth doing creates tension. 

There’s the desire to complete the task, to keep going, to do the work, and the desire to get out of the tension, to take the day off, and do something easier or more enjoyable.

Getting out of the tension always feels pretty good. At least for a moment. 

Before the desire to quit shows up I feel this pressure to execute, then a thought occurs to me I could quit! and a wave of relief comes over me. I could be free of this whole thing if I just walk away. 

But of course, whenever I do this I eventually look back and wonder, “Why did I quit?” If I had just kept going I would have:

  • Written that book
  • Learned something about myself
  • Created something I was passionate about

So while the tension is uncomfortable, removing it as a strategy rarely leads to lasting satisfaction. And yet in the moment, it feels so tempting. A temptation I’ve given into so often I can hardly imagine listing all the things I’ve quit, though I can start with a sample:

Acting
Singing in groups
Writing my first book on coaching
My last engagement
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
Rock climbing
Salsa
Learning german
Learning Spanish
Powerlifting

I could go on . . . and on. . . and on. . . 

This brings me to my desire to quit coaching. . . or anything else

Coaching as a profession is all about sitting in tension. 

I sit in the tension of my client’s desires. 
I sit in the tension of conversations around commitment.
I sit in the tension of a client having paid me and a sense that now I owe them some form of transformation. 

Like I said. A lot of tension. 

And if I think of that tension as a burden. If I come from a place of needing to prove myself then it’s not worth it. 

There are a lot of easier ways to make money. A lot of easier ways to prove myself. 

But when I let all of that go. When I just remember what it’s like to be with someone as their life and the way they think about the world changes. My desire to quit fades. 

And that’s because I’ve found my calling, a practice where my purpose can fully manifest, a path that demands everything from me. 

My desire to quit is a part of that. A human part. And it’s a part I’ve learned to love and accept. 

So when I want to quit I remind myself that the reason I love coaching is because of the tension, the pressure, and the possibility. 

But you’ve got to decide if that’s enough for you or not. 

So my advice for you. If you want to quit sometimes is this:

First, let go of any idea that you’re a failure if you quit. 
Quitting takes courage and commitment. So let the shame go, it will just cloud your judgment. 

Next get really clear on why you’re quitting. 
Maybe it’s because you’ve decided that you feel called to a different kind of work.
Maybe it’s because you actually prefer working for someone else (which by the way most people secretly prefer).
Maybe it’s because coaching asked you to become someone you don’t want to become. 

The reason doesn’t matter. What matters is that you get clear on it. 

You were creating yourself as a coach. Now you’re going to create yourself as something else. Not because creating yourself as a coach is hard, but because you feel called to create something else. 

OR

Don’t quit. Even a little bit. 

Go outside, take a walk, and remember why you started this. 
Feel the tension of what it means to be a coach. 
The annoying, hard, challenging, tension of it. 

Feel the heartbreak of clients who resist change (just like all humans do). 
Feel the discomfort of asking people to commit to something. 
Feel the challenge of declaring you’re going to help someone change their lives. 

Feel it all and choose it. 
Shake off the excuses. Love yourself. 
And choose it. 

The whole big ball of wax of it. 
And get back to work. 

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to quit. 
It’s normal. 
Expected really. 

It’s why you need a coach. 
It’s why you need a community. 
It’s why you need other people standing up for who you are. 

If you want to quit, do it. 
And if not, choose back in. 

It’s this simple act of choosing back in, that separates those who make it from those who don’t. 
It’s an act I do every day and have to do in real earnest a few times a year. 

Every path worth walking will give you the desire to quit. 
It’s what you do with that desire that matters. 

Whatever you choose. I believe in you. I hope you remember to believe in yourself too. 

Love, 
Toku

Humbled or Humiliated?

It’s normal to be humbled by something new. It reminds us that no matter what we do life can be challenging, that we always have new horizons to learn from and deepen. To be humbled is good and powerful and a sacrament. But humiliation is different. It’s an experience of becoming less than, of discovering ourselves flawed while at the same moment having those flaws exposed to the world. 

Humiliation is humbleness mixed with shame, self-recrimination, and with self-abandonment. It’s something done to us when we’re young that we learn to do to ourselves before the world ever could. 

It is good to be humbled, but bad if we turn this into a subtle form of self-abuse in the form of humiliation. If instead we can be gentle and kind to the parts of ourselves that feel humiliation the most, and offer a form of acceptance they so long for, regardless of success or failure. You can learn to absorb the barbs of humiliation and transform them into humbling lessons that help you grow stronger on your journey. 

Conditional vs. Unconditional Leadership

Conditional leadership means I’m a leader if you follow, if you do what I want, if you treat me right, if it’s fair, if it’s fun, if it’s easy, if it feels like it should.

A conditional leader can only lead when the conditions are right, sort of like a fair weather fan.

An unconditional leader chooses to stand as a leader, chooses to stand in a place of leadership, chooses to be their commitment in the face of all conditions. It doesn’t mean the conditions don’t impact them, they certainly do. Conditions can motivate, enrage, confuse, frustrate, inspire, distract, and compel an unconditional leader, but the unconditional leader keeps returning to the place they look from.

It reminds me of my favorite GB Shaw quote:

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”

I would love for you to consider what your stand is as a leader? What is your vision for how you interact with the board? What is your vision for the possibility of that relationship? How might you start being that? What would it look like to be that in the face of them showing up exactly how you expect them to show up?

You Don’t Have To Be An Expert To Be A Great Coach

How can I help someone build a multi-million dollar business if I’ve never done it?
How can I help someone with their law firm if I’m not a lawyer?
How can I help someone have a dope relationship if I’m still single?

I hear this kind of thing a lot from coaches. I get it. I mean I wouldn’t want to learn how to cook from someone who couldn’t make toast. I wouldn’t want to learn guitar from someone who can’t play basic chords.

But coaching isn’t like cooking or guitar.

To be a good cook you need to do cooking. Because you have to learn the nuances of making food in order to teach it to someone else.

With coaching you’re not teaching someone a skill. You’re using a totally different set of skills to help them improve their skills.

Skills like:
– Observation
– Curiosity
– Contextualization
– Empathy
– Analysis

Just to name a few.

But even more important than those skills… you’re being someone for your client.

You’re being a stand for possibility. Which just means you choose to stand in a place where you can see that so much more is possible than your client realizes.

In the movie, a Star is Born the famous singer sees a young singer with talent performing somewhere and takes an interest in them. The famous singer is standing in possibility. They see that so much more is possible for this young singer then they even realize. More so, they have the ability to draw it out of them.

THE MOST VALUABLE THING YOU DO AS A COACH IS THIS!!!

And you don’t need to be a famous singer to do it.

What you need is an intimate understanding of possibility. What you need is an experience of someone standing for your possibility.

What you need is practice in the art of being with someone, finding out what they want, figuring out what’s in the way, and supporting them to take on the steps and beliefs. It’s a whole different set of skills than building a million dollar business or running a law firm.

And it’s why I coached a CFO at Nokia.
A CEO of a digital marketing agency in Peru.
A writer with work in the NYTimes
without ever doing ANY of these things.

The skill they needed to do their job was irrelevant to the skills I needed.
I never let a client’s desire for something I can’t do, stand in the way of what I see as possible for them.

If you’re wondering how you can help these people.
PRACTICE HELPING PEOPLE.
The deeply felt confidence you get when you realize you can choose to stand for anybody’s life, and possibility is irreplaceable.​

Love,
Toku

PS The Spring Dojo is already over half full. If you want one of the five remaining slots. Please let us know. It’s the ONLY dojo we’re running in 2021 right now.

Is This The Year?

You’ll become the coach you dreamed of . . . making a living, doing the work, hiring that coach you admire?

You’ll become the leader you pretend to be . . . empowering others, stepping outside the pocket and taking a risk, putting yourself on the hook?

You’ll become responsible for not just who you want to be, but who you are right now, fame and flaws?

It may be and it might not . . .

But one thing is for sure, it won’t happen through grand pronouncements or resolutions. It won’t happen because you made a big post about it on JAN 1.

It will happen through a thousand little choices, a thousand little practices. And perhaps the most important practice of noticing when you’re not being it, without shame, without judgment, without avoidance, and then choosing to return.

Performance is NOT morality.

Failure is not a sin. It’s not even that significant.

I wish for you a year of practice, more than victory, or success, or millions of dollars, or followers.Because there is no separation between Practice and Mastery. Practice and Success. Practice and Liberation.

Practice is mastery, success, and liberation.

It’s all the same.

May you practice well.

And thank you in advance for supporting my practice and very often without even knowing it, for being my practice as well.

Love,
Toku

The Origin Story of the Dojo

I remember the second coaching intensive I ever attended. I was full of myself. I had just crossed the six-figure threshold. I was a member of the high-level mastermind everyone wanted to be a part of. I had expensive new shoes. 

And I noticed something. There were a lot of coaches around me who didn’t feel that way. Coaches who had been coaching for a long time, years more than me, and yet they were stuck. I couldn’t figure it out. Part of me thought well I’m just hot shit that’s why I’m doing so well, but another part of me knew that wasn’t true. I knew I was good but I didn’t think it’s because I was super good, I figured there had to be a reason, but I couldn’t figure out why. 

Until we did speed coaching. 

We sat in opposite rows, we coached, one row got up, moved down one seat, and we coached again. It took me three sessions to realize that most of the coaches were not great. I mean they were fine. They asked interesting questions, they leaned forward with a tentative eager look, but beyond that, there wasn’t much. 

Each session felt formulaic, heavy, constructed, and boring. There were a few highlights but mostly I was blown away that the majority of the coaching I experienced was at best, mediocre. Yes, I was being cocky. Yes, I had absurdly high expectations (especially then). Yes, I know fast coaching isn’t the same. But the impact was the same and I had my answer. 

The reason why most coaches were struggling was because their coaching was just fine. Not bad, not great, but fine. 

And I started to wonder how I could fix it. 

After all, the enrollment techniques most of us were using—sometimes called relationship selling or the prosperous coach method—put A LOT of attention on your coaching. 

The idea was that you connect with people, find an opening, invite them to experience coaching, and then sell them based on that experience. Which works great if you 1) have a super charming personality and/or 2) you create a really incredible coaching experience. 

If you don’t do either your results will end up being as mediocre as your coaching. 

So I started to think about how I could help people get better.

 

The Motivation of Debt

A few months later I formed a small mastermind group focused on retiring debt. The 3 of us all had built up a fair amount of credit card debt investing in various programs. So we started to meet on a monthly basis to talk about our money, how we spent it, and what we might do to earn our way out of the hole we had found ourselves in. 

I noticed that I was mostly focusing on signing one-on-one clients, which was fine, but I was only paying off debt slowly. I wanted to pay off my debt fast. So I came up with the idea to build a program, something that would allow me to pay off a big chunk of debt all at once. 

I thought about creating something for coaches. A short group program that would have a big impact on them. I wanted to help coaches get better. I wanted to give coaches a taste of what I had experienced at the monastery, but I wasn’t sure how. 

I shared the idea with the group and they liked it. My partner at the time, Christina (who was also a member of the group) said she’d be down to collaborate with me on it. 

At first I just wanted to have people practice coaching. I also wanted them to meditate daily and learn to study their own mind while simply sitting. It wasn’t much more than that. Just meditation and practice. 

But Christina pushed me to create more structure. So we started talking about what had helped us become better coaches. We remembered some of our conversations where we had traded sessions and spent a long time afterwards talking about what did and didn’t work in the sessions. 

We shared feedback with one another and that feedback, which was honest, kind, and curious helped us so much. 

I had encouraged her to be more forceful, to tell clients that she wanted to work with them, and to add more structure to her sessions. She had invited me to be more playful and to bring more joy and laughter into my sessions which could often feel very heavy and serious. 

This feedback grew over time and became more precise as we got to know each other’s coaching. 

We considered how we could combine this element with my monastic experience. Soon we were riffing on ideas. We talked about the icons of Zen and which icons invoked this kind of practice. That was when we started talking about Samurai and how they were both rooted in the zen tradition while also focused on improving their skills in community. 

It became the seed of what would become the Samurai Coaching Dojo

 

Happily Ever After? 

Of course that’s not the end of the story. Christina and I spent years refining the dojo. We learned a lot each time we ran it. Christina left the dojo, and Matt came on as a Sensei.  Matt and I have continued that tradition of simplifying and clarifying the message. Finding new ways to express this simple idea that it’s through practice and feedback that mastery is created. 

But it all started with a simple observation and intention to help coaches while also helping myself. 

I still believe deeply in the core of what the dojo is: an idea rooted in Zen. In Zen they call sitting Zazen. It’s often called practice realization because they don’t see any difference. Practice is enlightenment, enlightenment is practice. 

And that’s what I’ve always tried to keep at the center of the dojo. It’s not about the teachers, or the other students, or the model of coaching, or the tools and techniques. It’s about the practice. 

When you engage in the wholehearted practice of coaching, you can’t help but get better. You can’t help but feel more confident and deep. The trick is the wholehearted part. 

Most things simply engage your mind, but I’ve always tried to make sure the dojo engages every part of each coach that steps inside it. I haven’t always succeeded, but the core of the mission feels just, if not more, important than it ever has been. 

So that’s the origin of the dojo and that’s why I keep choosing to do it every year. 

 

10 Things Wrong With Your Coaching Website

So you want to know how good your coaching website is? 

Well I ‘m here to tell you it’s fine. Not great, not horrible, but fine. 

Websites are like personalities, everyone has one, but most of them are unremarkable. And that’s ok. You need one. Or you think you need one. 

You want your website to portray a vaguely professional image. 

You want to make it look like you’re a little (or alot) more successful than you are. 

You want it to not be embarrassing. 

And so your website mostly serves that purpose. It achieves a vague sense of mediocrity and a basic sense of style. 

Your website is like a blue oxford button-down. 
Your website is a polyester dress from H&M
Your website is the LL Bean catalog from 1997, but with worse graphic design. 

And I don’t want to freak you out because that’s fine, but the truth is it could be better. 

After doing a review of some websites for some coaches I know I noticed that most coaches websites are bad in the same way and so I’m going to break down what’s wrong with your coaching website  in simple clear so that you can make yours better. 

 

1) You’ve got too many calls to action 

Each page is like an invitation. So imagine receiving your website like an invite to a party. Where would you go? 

Are you clear on the address of the event? The time? What about the attire or whether there will be food or not? 

When I look at most coaches webpages, their sites ask you to do several things at once Sign up for an e-book, book a call, check out my three different services (which is really just coaching vaguely packaged in three different ways) 

You want each page to be a clear invitation. An invitation that makes sense to why the person is on your page. Not many people are going to book a call right after they meet you. But they might sign up for your mailing list, or download a free resource. If you really just want them to book a call, cool. 

But make the invite interesting…

What’s the call about? 
What will they get?
What questions do they have? 
How might you answer them?

One page, one call to action. 



2) Your ‘stock’ images are also overused by everyone else on the internet –

Look I get it. I like Unsplash too. If you look at my Facebook or blog, you’ll find images other people have used. It’s not ideal but it happens. Enough people searching the same archive with similarish tastes are going to produce a similarish result. 

But for your website it helps if you try and find images that are truly unique.  Basically you want stock photos that don’t look stock. 

My advice is to start by branching out – there are other photo sites on the internet you can check out. You can even reach out to photographers and ask them about using their images. 

Next, search deeper – If you want a forest vibe for your site, don’t select the first image that pops up. Dig deeper into the archive you’re searching. Find something compelling and interesting. Challenge yourself. 

It’s not something to spend a ton of time on, but it is something to pay attention to. 

 

3) You have too many pages for people to click on –

Most coaches really need 3-4 pages on their site. A welcome page, an about page, a blog page, and a ‘work with me’ page. 

Each page should have its own purpose and a specific call to action. 

Your welcome page should be all about letting people know what you and your site are about and maybe inviting them to get more engaged with you, either by downloading something or signing up to your list. 

Your about page should be about you, your story, how you found your way to becoming a coach, and why you keep doing it. 

Your blog page should be about your writing and art. It might direct people to the best posts you have or it might just be a roll of your blogs. 

Do you need more pages than this? No, in fact, you could probably have less. 

So many coaches have lots and lots of pages all in an attempt to make themselves look like their businesses are bigger than they are. This probably isn’t necessary and generally may detract from the purpose of your site. 

The purpose is to help people answer the key questions they have when coming to it. 

Is this for me? 
Can you help me? 
Do I want to learn more? 



4) You offer a ‘free consultation’ without giving any context for that consultation –

For some people wandering up to or messaging strangers and asking them if they’d like to have sex might work. But from what I’ve heard from women who are approached this way, the results aren’t great. 

The reason this doesn’t work is that the invitation to get intimate doesn’t have any context or enrollment. And yet most coaching websites have a sort of immediate offer of intimacy.  

Speak with me! is a common theme. You know that your coaching is your best asset, but it’s a big leap from ‘I just came to your website’ to ‘Sign up to share your deepest fears and dreams with me’ 

Which is why it’s important that you create some context and a reason for them to get on a call. What will happen on the call? What will they get? What problem is it going to solve for them? 

If your offer is clear, then go ahead and make it. If not, you’re likely to get into trouble. 

In general, I think email is a better way to offer a consultation. Get in people’s inbox, build value, offer something worth paying for, establish some credibility, and THEN offer a free call. 

But if you have to offer it on your site, make sure you’re giving people a reason to say yes, in just the same way you might if you met them at a networking event. Or if you were trying to pick them up at a bar.

 

5) You don’t take any risks –

The goal of your website should not be to just have it look ‘adequate’ or ‘professional’ it should express a bit of who you are. 

If you try to front like you’re a well established business you’ll likely end up looking boring. Instead, be willing to take a risk and express something different. 

Tell people what you are about. Share a personal story 

 

6) Your testimonials don’t have pictures – 

Words are great, pictures are better. It’s a simple thing to add and it makes a big difference. When I can see the people who you have worked with, it helps me know they are real people. 



7) You try to add too much information –

This happens because you want to establish authority, you want your site to seem legit, so you add a lot of information. You don’t need to. 

Keep it simple, less is more. 

Ask yourself:

What is it for? 
Why is someone on your site? 
What do they need to know? 
What step or action do you want them to take? 

Provide just enough information for this and then cut everything extra out. 

Importantly though, publish your crappy website first and then edit down. 

 

8) You spend too much time on graphics and not enough on copy –

The most important design element on your website are your words. Written, spoken, or video.. It’s all about your words. 

Keep the graphics simple, incredibly simple, and let the words shine. 

Spend 80% of your time on the words you use and 20% on the graphics or pictures. 

Not that pictures don’t matter, they totally do (see #2). 

People connect with what they read about you and the words invite them deeper. So use your words to deepen the connection. Use your words to create possibility. Use your words to enroll them. 

USE. YOUR. WORDS.

 

9) You don’t tell your own story in a compelling way –

Your story is interesting. I know you don’t think it is, but it is. People want to know about you, they want to know how you became a coach, they want to know about the challenges you’ve faced, they want to know about what you care about. 

Assume your story is interesting and tell it like that. If you’re not sure how, ask a good friend to tell your story and write it down or tell it to someone you trust and have them record it. 

Your story is part of what people hire when they hire you. Don’t worry about your lack of experience or that you haven’t worked as a fortune 500 CEO. Tell your story! It will resonate with your people. 

Oh and don’t just tell your story once, find a way to tell it over and over again.

 

10) Your URL is too long –

I know that soulcoach as a URL is taken, I know that coachingdojo.com is taken. Finding a good URL is hard, but in general if you want people to come to your site it’s better to come up with a short name. One that’s easy to remember. 

So many times I try to go to a coach’s site and I type in the name and get it wrong. I try again. Wrong again. I go to their email and finally click on the link. 

This is something you should test, call someone up and ask them to go to your URL, tell them what it is and ask them how it went for them if they got it wrong your URL is too long or confusing. 

It’s not the end of the world if this happens, but it’s important.. 

The best URLs are short, simple, and easy to type in. 

I even think samuraicoachingdojo is too long and have plans to shorten it to coachingdojo when we do our next redesign. 

A URL should be easy for the user first and exactly what you want it to say second. I get that this can be hard to do , but it’s worth putting some time into. And of course if you need to start with your name and go from there. You can always change your URL later.

 

The Bottom Line

Ok ok I know you probably hate your site now. Interestingly enough I don’t love my site either. I saw a BUNCH of these problems on my site. 

And my business is doing just fine. 

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t publish your site. It doesn’t mean you should spend years on it. Take a weekend and get your site up. Try to work on the things I listed above over time, you don’t need to spend hours making a site, keep it simple. 

While these things will help your site appeal to your customers, getting into conversations with people matters WAY more. 

Everything I listed above are the things that annoy me about coaching websites, but none of them are fatal. Mostly you should enjoy the process of creating your site. You should try not to take yourself too seriously and you should speak from your heart. 

If you do that, you’ll probably be ok. And of course I hope these suggestions help you create a site that is simple and shows people an aspect of your heart. 

Love, 
Toku