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Bed Bugs and Commitment

This past Saturday we returned from a short trip to discover we have bed bugs.

Which (as Christina says) is kind of like finding out your house has an STD.

The process we’ve endured since and will likely endure for a few days more has reminded me of the danger of sunk costs and the power of commitment.

But to explain that I need to tell you about bed bugs…


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Marketing and Mastery: Interview with Greg Faxon

Toku sat down with fellow coach and marketing master Greg Faxon for a jam on mastery, marketing, and more!

Here are just a few of the topics they cover in their wide-ranging conversation:

  • The Myth of the Undercover Coach
  • “Marketing can be an act of love” – Marketing as Service
  • How Marketing is like Exercise
  • How really great Marketing can “just come through you”
  • Is your Marketing like pick-up artistry or falling in love?
  • The Three Marketing Archetypes: which one are you?
  • The Three Cs of Marketing: Captivate, Convert, Coach
  • The “Niche-ing Spiral”: the practice of refining your niche

…and much more!Read more

ODSC Framework #29 – The Close – Reflection

Another challenge you may be encountering with your client is that between sessions, they “twist the work” in some way (thanks to Bay LeBlanc Quiney for this phrasing)… you thought the session went great, but they come back believing the session wasn’t powerful, or they’re confused, or they fall apart the next day…

In this episode, Toku explains that deep work requires processing and integration, and if we don’t as coaches help our clients begin this during The Close, we’ll leave them struggling. Reflection is just one powerful tool that can help our client begin to do that post-session processing.

Need help applying the ODSC Framework to your own coaching conversations? Get your copy of the Coaching Canvas today!Read more

ODSC Framework #28 – The Close – Next Steps and Commitments

Are your clients getting lost between sessions, not taking action on what you talked about, and complaining they don’t know what happened?

The root of this might be that they don’t know how to create their own container, because they, like most of us, grew up with containers that were forced on us.

So how do we as coaches help our clients create their own containers? When done well, one of the most common Close techniques—creating next steps and commitments—can provide your struggling client the foundation they need to begin this process. In this episode, Toku gives three specific steps on how to do this:

Need help applying the ODSC Framework to your own coaching conversations? Get your copy of the Coaching Canvas today!
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ODSC Framework #27 – The Close – What Is the Close?

Another place you might be “leaving your clients at the altar” is when your Close is not effective…

This can lead to frustration for you as the coach, because you don’t seem to be able to help your client achieve Shifts that stick. Your client achieves powerful insights in sessions but doesn’t seem to take action on them. You and your client end up rehashing the same work over and over. You both become frustrated at the lack of progress. And you may even decide to stop working together.

In this first episode of Part 4 of the ODSC Series, Toku explains what the Close is, why it’s so important, and sets the stage for a deeper discussion of Close techniques coming in subsequent videos.

Need help applying the ODSC Framework to your own coaching conversations? Get your copy of the Coaching Canvas today!Read more

ODSC Framework #26: The Shift – More Than a Shift

One of the most important things you can give to your client is the understanding that it’s not just about a Shift. Sure, these insights can be powerful and important… but insights alone are not enough. As Toku’s Zen Master used to say, “Insight and $2.50 will get you a cup of coffee.” What he meant was this: insight alone will not create change.

In today’s video, Toku discusses how to give your client that understanding, so the Shifts you help them create dive deep into your client’s being, and extend out into your client’s life.


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ODSC Framework #25: The Shift – What’s Valuable?

Do you find yourself doing really powerful, deep work with your clients, but they’re just not connecting that powerful, deep work to what they consider valuable… which means they don’t end up seeing the value in the work you’re doing together?

If you haven’t set the context around value in the Open or the Drop (or you’ve changed subject in the Shift away from what you’ve already provided context for), it’s important to find out what’s at stake for the client, and connect it to the Shift they’re  experiencing now. Toku explains more in today’s video:

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ODSC Framework #24: The Shift – Shifts with Context

Many of you may be successful in creating a single Shift in a session, but then struggle when trying to tie that shift to continuing work. This happens a lot in enrollment conversations, when you’ve had some success in facilitating Shift, but the potential client can’t envision what’s next when working with you: “I’m doing a lot of powerful work, but my clients just don’t get it,” or “They don’t see how valuable the work is. We had a great session, but they say they don’t need me any more.”

The challenge, and point of practice, is learning how to place the Shift that’s happening in the moment into a larger context… one that deepens that Shift further into their being, or extends it further into other areas of their lives.

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ODSC Framework #22: The Shift – Facilitation vs. Depth

Facilitative coaching is done around ideas and goals, and is focused on achieving a certain result (the “doing” work).

Deep coaching is done around feelings and values and beliefs, and concentrates on states of being (the “being” work).

The most transformative coaching requires both: focus on goals and ideas and doing, and focus on being.

“But how do I integrate these two models of coaching when they seem so different, with such different outcomes?” you may be asking. “How do I mix them so that my clients aren’t getting lost, and I’m creating the most powerful and effective shifts for my clients?”

Toku talks about the tension between these approaches, and how to best combine them:

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ODSC Framework #20: The Shift – Letting Things Land

Do you feel confident you’re doing great coaching, but maybe clients aren’t hiring you?

Or do you feel unsure about how impactful your sessions really are, about whether or not you’re creating powerful shifts for your clients?

In the Dojo, often times the Sensei see that the Samurai coaches ARE creating powerful shifts, but they’re not spending time letting the client experience them, and are instead just jumping off and moving to the next thing.

In today’s ODSC video, Toku talks about the importance of letting things land, and how to give that space for the Shift to deepen in the client’s experience… and your own.

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